Boarding School (Maniggy)

Chapter 8

Marilyn's POV

Starving..The reason I can't sleep right now..I push my stomach, I change my positions almost every minute, but no, I can't sleep.

"Jeordie?" Zim whispers. I start to pay attention.. So, Zim wants to go out for a walk..Wait, what? Why not me?! Why Twiggy? I sigh and push my stomach more.

I make sure they are gone, and then I get up. I follow them into the courtyard. I try my best to stay quiet so they won't hear me. This is suspicious as fuck. They sit together and there is some talking. They talk too soft, so I'm not really able to eavesdrop. I start to see Zim lean in. I begin to panic. Is he kissing him?! I move a little to get a better view.

Zim kissed him. He did.

I feel like he just ripped my heart out. I cover my mouth so they won't hear me. I can't hear them, but I can say that Twiggy enjoyed it. It was one hell of a kiss. Zim got really into it...

Well, Brian, that's what you get for being not able to express your emotions in a normal way.

I go back inside. I feel dizzy again. I just want to die. I love Twiggy so much, but he will never know. I have to get over it. But how, when he & Zim are my fucking roommates?! Will I have to watch them cuddle every single evening?! FUCK NO. In this moment I would LOVE to get suspended and have my own room. Just me and these black walls. Me and my notebook full of hateful lyrics.

*** next day ***

"Jeordie..Jeordie!! Come on, we're late.." Zim yells and I wake up from that.

"OKAY I KNOW JUST SHUT UP!" I look aroud the room, and I see Twiggy perfecting his makeup. He looks..Gorgeous as always. I can say that Zim's annoyed as fuck. I stretch and roll out of my bed.

"Morning, M." Zim mumbles and I ignore him. I look down at my pale arms and all these beautiful scars on them. There's a new one from last night. It says 'Twiggy'. I carved 'Jeordie' on my other arm..It's amazing. Call me over dramatic, but this is something I enjoy doing.

"Marilyn, what the fuck is..this?!" I didn't see Twiggy coming and now standing right next to my bunk! I hope he couldn't read it. I quickly pull my sleeves down.

"N-nothing." I stand up and go into the bathroom. Oh no, it's breakfast time again. I promised to eat the whole portion, for Twiggy. He and Zim are now sitting in front of me. Zim's stuffing himself, Twiggy's watching me as if I was his fucking son or something! "Please..Stop. Just stop, I can't concentrate like this.." He nods and starts to eat as well. I spend about 15 minutes just looking at my plate and then I finally take a bite of my toast. I chew it like billion times before actually swallowing it. "Look I..I can't." I look over my shoulder and I see Mrs. Irvington coming. Fuck no! That's just too much!

"Mr. Warner! What's that?! One bite? Well, at least something.." The table besides us laughs. Yea..Bunch of assholes. Adam and others. They just love picking on me, don't they? I give them this hateful look and they laugh even more. I can't take this. I get up and run into my room.

I enter in there and slam the door, loudly. I press my hands into my eyes. My head starts ringing, and it happens, again. The urge. Perhaps I need help. No. I can take care of myself. I push the thought as far as I can. I know what I need now, though.

I cut again. Oh, why is this all happening?! My wrists are bleeding like crazy..

"I need help." I mutter out between my cries. I smear the blood in hatred of my self pity. I rush to the toilet and kneel down before the porcelain bowl.

Just when I'm about to throw up again, even that one little piece I had, Twiggy fucking rushes into the bathroom and hugs me from behind.

"PLEASE STOP, MARILYN..P-PLEASE!" I can feel he's shaking. God, he has a really strong grip. "Please please please please plea-" he repeats. He's crying. I stop him by pushing him away.

"NO, YOU STOP! Look, my biggest fear ever is a feeling that people care about me. And I feel like you care TOO MUCH!" It's really hard to hold my tears back.

"No, you don't und-" he tries to explain.

"I do. Now go, Zim's waiting. Oh, don't let him down.." I say, sarcasticly. His eyes widen. "Wait, what?! Marilyn, it's not how it seems! The truth is..t-that I..I love-" I stop him.

"NO YOU DON'T!" I shout in his face. He looks down at the ground and a frown stays on his face. I wipe my tears away harshly. "Just go." I whisper.

"Is that you're ever going to say when you're in need? 'Just go'." He spits out. "'Just go.'" He says, again. "If that's what you want, then okay." He gets up and leaves. He softly closes the door probably retreating back to the cafeteria.

"I hate you." I tell myself.