Distress Hot Line

Me

Alright...so this is a bit difficult for me to share, but I'm putting it out there for all of you.

I was an only child for eight years when my first little sister came along. When my mom had her, at first it was great. I had a new adorable friend. But when she turned two I got really annoyed with her. I was a truly awful person back then...when she was maybe four, I intimidated her with a bat by hitting the couch with it and walking up to her. I honestly don't know what would have happened if my dad hadn't caught me. I haven't been actually diagnosed for sure, but I am very bipolar, have severe anxiety and anger issues. A couple of years later my second sister was born and I went through the same process. A new friend, annoyed. However, I never hurt her.
Around this time I started noticing the constant fighting between my parents. It had been my fault. Always my fault. Eventually, I got kicked out of the house. I ran to my grandpa's house next door, crying and told him so he took me in and tried to adopt me. My mom; However, stopped him right before we went into court. She took me back, but a few months later the cops came to our house and took us away because my parents had been doing drugs and the house was filthy. My sisters and I were put into foster care. At first, I hated it, but I was just so angry at my parents that I just left it be. I refused to go to the visitation and often said I hated my mother. I was obviously just angry, but still...
Then my mom had my third sister while we were still in care. She was taken away and put in a different home so I missed her first steps, the first time she opened her eyes...everything. I realize now that I still haven't forgiven my parents for that. My second sister never spoke so we taught her sign language.
Soon my parents got us all back, despite everything...
Nothing is perfect...I'm fifteen now and sometimes wish I were still in foster care. My grandpa has cancer for the fifth time and my great grandmother is in a home because she has dementia...my uncle is a drug addict who I refuse to talk to after he tried to get us taken away again...and my grandma hasn't spoken to me in a long time...

This is my family, my past, my present...
This is me.