Hopefully Entertaining Things From My Life

Stuff And A Heads Up Thing

Alright so the heads up thing is this. I've realized just how many people on here really don't have people to talk late at night when their minds really fucking with them and they just need somebody. So I wanna say that if any of my 23 followers are every in that position shoot me a message. I'm getting wifi soon so I'll be on alot more soon and as long as I'm active I'm more then happy to just talk to anyone that needs to cause I know how it is sometimes. Well. That's all for the heads up. We can get back to our regularly scheduled program.

Anyone on here watch the misfits? Swaggersouls, Fitz, zuckles you know those guys? If you know who they are then I love you. I'll have your children. Just give the word.

God I'm fucking tired. I stayed up watching late night TV and by the time I realized it was 7 in the morning it was to late. Also I just realized in my house we have like 8 pictures of random strangers up on our wall in the living. I'll add a picture when I get wifi cause its kinda fun and also kinda confusing because why you know?

Ever watched divorce court? This might be middle aged hung over white women of me but I think it's bloody fucking hilarious. Like Jesus I love this show. There's nothing better then laughing at dumbasses over playing their problems on TV.

Now time for: Random Shit Said Or Heard By Me And My Friends.

1. "How much cocaine could 35 cents and a blowjob get me?"

2. "I don't know what happened last night but I now have a tattoo."
2 hours later from that same friend.
"Turns out its not a tattoo it was magic marker and I'm just still a little high."

3. "Stop your FUCKIN MOANING IM PLAYING MARIO KART!"

4. "I bet I could fit that pole up my ass."

"Please don't."

5. "Disembowel him!"

"What's that mean?"

"I don't fucking know it just sounds very threatening now hit him or something."

6. "I might have a shrimp dick but at least I'm not black."

(I should probably start putting warning labels up for the more sensitive people shouldn't I?)

7. "I might be straight but I'd let him sick my dick anyday."

8. My friend Staring intently at a test sheet obviously completely focused. He then whispers quietly "I don't know what any of these words mean."

9. "I'm Kim possible!"

"Your a guy who weighs two seventy."

"Stop crushing my dreams David."

10. "How many dicks can you suck before your officially gay?"

The tallest most macho guy at our table doesn't miss a beat and shoots back "7."

"How would you know?"

"I'm on number 8."

And that concluds: Random Shit Said Or Heard By Me And My Friends. Thank you for tuning in I'll be doing this after every other chapter for the rest of this book. Ignore how many of those random things are about dicks. It's irrelevant and has nothing to do with how much I think about dick. Cough cough alright moving on now.

I'm starting to actually enjoy writing this book. Honestly this chapters been a joy.

Also anyone that's seen my book watch dragon ball? Cause I'd sell my souls for the new Broly movie. Or the old ones for that matter. It's that show that made little me excited to fight and its also that show that made me get more into food. And those two things are literally my two main pathways in life right now. Looking into the MMA and into different culinary schools and I owe a bit of it to dragon ball.

Got semi deep there huh. Welp onward I don't see this going in any particular direction so gonna hop on to something else.

Wanna hear a joke?

What's the difference between the army and the boy scouts?

The boy scouts don't have artillery.

Thats not my joke at all just a little disclaimer its from a movie called Good Morning Vietnam. One hell of a movie even if some of the jokes are a little cringy it's a classic.

God I'm bored and hyper. I wish I had something better to do then write half cooked chapters I mean some thing better to do then write very detailed and funny Chapters hahaha.

My already horrible humor is slowly runnin out here. I'm gonna have to start stealing jokes or something cause considering its only the 3rd chapter this aint good.

Maybe I'll stop here. Yeah I'll stop here. Peace my friends.