Athazagoraphobia

Chapter 5

Louis and I decided to go for a walk in the park to clear our heads. My mind is still reeling from my nightmare. I still can't get over what he said "I never loved you, I was just in it for the fun." The way his eyes looked still get to me. The only emotion they held were pure hatred, all of it for me. No remorse, no sorrow, no hint of lying. Just hatred.

I looked over at Louis and saw that he was thinking very hard about something. I look around to see if any one has spotted us, relieved when no one is looking. We have hats and sunglasses on, of course, and school doesn't get out for another 2 hours but sometimes we still get spotted. I grab his arm and lead him into a small coffee shop by the park.

When we get inside, we find a table in the back, hidden from sight. "What are you thinking about?" I question. He jumps like he completely forgot I was there. I give him a look and he just shakes his head. "Nothing," he says in a forcefully light tone. He smiles but I know it's fake.

"Lou, what's wrong," I try, worry clear on my face.

He just sighs and hides his face in his hands on the table. A second later, he lifts his head back up and stares at me, looking at every detail. I can tell he's looking at my tattoos, the other half of his. "I don't know" he replies.

"What do you not know?"

"Harry, do you love me?" He asks all of a sudden.

"wha-"

"I asked if you love me." He says, firmer.

"Of course I do."

"Do you want to come out?" He asks just as firm.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"Louis, we've talked about this, when you think you're ready, we'll talk about it." I remind him.

"Yeah but what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Don't you want to come out?" He raises his voice. A few people turn to look but don't think anything of it.

"Lou, why don't we go home and talk about this okay?" I suggest in a quiet tone.

"Fine," he mutters. He stands up, almost knocking his chair over and storms out. I get up and follow him.

"Lou, wait!" I shout after him. "Where are you going?"

While barely looking over his shoulder, he states "home."

"Well can you slow down? Please?" I ask, running after him.

"No, I want to get home as soon as possible to talk about this."

Luckily the house is only 5 minutes away so we get there quickly.

"I think I'm ready." Louis states right when I close the door.

"What?"I ask, hand still on the door nob.

"I think I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" I ask carefully, walking up to him.

"Yes. I know you want to come out and that it will make you happy to not have to hide anymore. I'll do anything to make you happy."

"I don't think you understand completely what I mean."

"What?" he gives me a curious look. "Of course I do. You want to come out, it's quite simple."

"no, Louis, that's no-" I try to say but he cuts me off.

"So you don't want to come out?"

"No, I do b-"

"Then what's the problem? What do I not understand?" He asks.