OUTSIDE A BLAND HOTEL, COLORADO SPRINGS
The asphalt is being ripped up outside a bland hotel. In the background are the foothills and mountains.
INSIDE THE HOTEL BOARDROOM.
Through the window you can see the foothills and hear and see the roadwork outside. In a non-descript classroom 12-15 middle management types sit, from their expressions you can tell they are so bored that they have already checked out. A grader passes outside the sliding window every so often. The conference attendees are wearing nametags. Jeff’s clearly says Jeff. JEFF, 28, always considered nice but not successful, Brad White average in every way. Next to him is his best friend, black 27 who’s a computer geek who works in the same office. Brad is hypoglycemic and constantly has a package of sesame snaps open on the table. John, the facilitator is short and overweight. Tim, an older employee, the Eeyore of the group, sits next to them. It’s been a long day, it’s hot and no one wants to be there.
JEFF’S TABLE IN THE WORKSHOP
TIM
This is the worst workshop I’ve ever attended. I can’t believe Strathmore actually hired this idiot.
BRAD
Yea, I wish someone would pull the plug on this guy.
JEFF
Guys, yea it’s useless but look on the bright side, there’s only three more hours to go.
On the board behind John is written: workshop coordinator John Densmore, Team Building, next to it is a quote, “the mind is like a parachute, it only works when its open,” Frank Zappa.
John hears Jeff talking and singles him out
John
So what did you learn for this exercise Jeffery? What did your group discover about themselves
Jeff
It’s Jeff, Mr. Densmore. My group said they have done the same scenario a hundred times since grade 5. It doesn’t help us build a team.
John gets right in Jeff’s face, threatening.
John
Is that so smart ass? So why aren’t you giving the fucking workshop, tell me that Jeffrey?
Jeff
(Defensive)
It’s a hypothetical situation. We aren’t stranded. And sir, profanity isn’t necessary.
John
(blows)
Well, exusez mon anglais! So what’s the fucking point of it then? The point of it, there’s no veritable solution, there’s no fucking solution, you need to learn how to fucking survive! You’re here because you’re a slow learner asshole, you never got it in grade 5!
You’re a loser if you expect that someone else is going to save your ass, whether it’s on a boat stranded in the ocean or in the fucking office. So what the fuck, it doesn’t really matter what you bring because you’re going to die anyway. The survival list is irrelevant. What three real attributes do you need to have?
Do I have to spell it out to you idiot?
The group looks baffled and Jeff is being singled out and humiliated. Thank God he’s picking on someone else and not them.
