The Man Who Can't Be Moved

One~

Going back to the corner where I first saw you…

 

Three bottles of the cheapest wine you can get at three a.m. on a Tuesday. That’s all it took me to forget her. Her scent, her touch, her smile. That smile and the way some of her teeth were still somewhat crooked due to her parents not being able to afford a good dentist. The way her hair was always up in a ponytail or how she’d swat my hand away every time I’d pull at it. Her body. I’d forgotten her body. The way it molded into mine like a puzzle piece being put together by the most delicate hands. Okay… Maybe I’m going to need another bottle.

I stumble through empty streets, under dim lights that leave me with little to no vision at times. If she knew I was here at this hour she’d scold me.

“Liam, you’re going to get mugged.” She’d said these words to me before. “Come back home, the job can wait.” It used to annoy me at times when she would worry too much but I eventually learned to love it. She always held me tighter when she was worried.

I eventually lose track of where I am going but my feet lead the way so effortlessly and my mind is still in a haze, making me ignore her voice in my head telling me to go back home. Even if that means facing an empty bed. The alcohol in my system seems to convince me that she’ll still be there when I get back…

I find myself stopping in front of a 7-Eleven. The bright lights of the neon green sign stings my eyes and I have to avert them quickly or else I think I might go blind. I blink once or twice and look through the window, toward the cashier. Boy, if the lights punched me in the face then the memories hit me like a truck.

˜

“Pleaseeee,” Bo had forgotten the coffee he was supposed to bring to the meeting today and he was already late so he called and asked me to get it. “I bloody stayed up all night helping you on Johnson’s paperwork. Do. This. For. Me.” I couldn’t argue with that. He always found a way to help me keep my job.

“Dude relax, I’ll get it. You can unclench now.” I laugh, making my way into the closest shop I could find. 7- Eleven.

“Thanks, gotta go. Fucking Kevin just came in.” he hangs up and I shake my head, walking in.

I walk up to the empty counter and look around impatiently. Isn’t someone supposed to be here? I don’t want to be rude and call out for someone but I don’t want to be late either. I clear my throat. Nothing. I do it again. Still nothing. I sigh and look at my watch. “Hello?”

“Crap!” I hear a female voice call from the back, followed by quick, sloppy footsteps. Soon enough a smiling face appears behind the counter. “Hi, sorry. Clearing out boxes,” she’ll still panting. Maybe from the boxes or maybe from the run back out here. Her nametag spells out 'Marina' in full, bold cursive letters. Hair falls down one side of her face, making the circles under her eyes more prominent and her left cheek looks more hollowed than the right.

She’s beautiful.

She gets the coffee quite quickly and gives me the cups with a smile. I manage a lopsided grin and hand her the money. “Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day!” I watch her fix her hair, smoothing down the strays that branch out every which way. “Come back soon.” she waves slightly.

 And I did. I stopped by after work. She wasn’t there.

˜

The lights flicker inside, snapping me out of my trance. I blink. My knees get weak and I collapse. My shoulders shake and my breath becomes uneven. Tears fall down my eyes and hit the floor, I don’t care that the ground beneath me is filthy. All I can think about is her.

I don’t know how long I’ve been like this but eventually my knees start to ache. I wipe my eyes and get up cautiously. I met her here. This is the first time I've been here since she quit two months ago. This place that once held the beginning of everything now spits fire my way. I run home and the cold wind against my wet cheeks finally makes me feel something other than pain. When I get to my room I can feel the emptiness. The absence of her. I flop down on the bed not bothering to change or even take off my shoes and stare at the clock. I have to get up for work in an hour. I close my eyes and let my mind wander for a while. I haven’t heard from her in a week…

Maybe my brain is still flushed from all the alcohol but I know what I have to do. I know how to get her back…

I have to.