He tried talking to me again when we reached the house.
Did I talk to him?
Ha. Of course not.
I knew I'd have to eventually, but I couldn't help but put it off. I mean, I wasn't exactly innocent either. I hadn't been sure that had cheated on me when I started messing around with Ronnie, so when I knew for sure, I went ahead and let my feelings for Ron escalate.
Now, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I knew I didn't want Jacky, but I couldn't help being almost depressed over him. We'd been together so long.. What was I supposed to do now? Would they keep me on as drum tech and allow me to continue living with them? Am I going to have to find a place to stay?
But hey, I loved him, I deserve a bit of time to mope right? I went straight to my room. I didn't want to deal with anyone. Not even Ryan. He came up once, to try and talk. I had my door locked and I turned my music up so I had an excuse to not answer the door.
They left me alone for a while.
I knew I couldn't stay in my room hiding forever, but I'd sure as hell try to.
Sadly, my room doesn't have everything necessary to survive, so at about 2 in the morning I ended up sneaking out to use the bathroom and grab some food. I glanced into the living room and saw everyone was there except Ronnie. I got past it and into the kitchen without anyone noticing me. I grabbed a box of raspberry toaster strudel and the toaster, along with the carton of orange juice and was heading out of the kitchen when Ronnie walked into me.
Luckily, I didn't drop the food. He paused and studied my face and I was suddenly glad I hadn't cried at all. He forced a smile, obviously still upset I left this morning. "Someone's hungry." He chuckled halfheartedly.
"Yeah," I sighed. "Grab whatever you were gonna get and come up to my room?"
He shifted his weight and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do with you."
I frowned. "Just come talk."
Ronnie laughed nervously. "Alright, let's go."
"You're not getting food?" I raised an eyebrow.
He shrugged, deciding not to answer.
We got back to my room, again without anyone noticing. He sat on my bed and watched as I plugged the toaster into an outlet and set it on my side table before sitting next to him.
We both said nothing.
What was there to say really? Ronnie was quiet because he thought I picked Jacky over him, knowing Jacky cheated on me, lied to me. I didn't speak because I'm bad with words. I didn't know how to start, what to do.
I smiled nervously. "So, Ryan found himself a girl."
He rolled his eyes. "Who?"
I shrugged. "This airline ticket lady. She's pretty hot," I laughed. "She's a fan of you guys."
He cracked a smile. "About time he meets someone he likes." His smile faded a bit. "So, what happened with Jacky?"
"I told him I knew where he was. I called him a liar. A cheater. And we haven't talked since." I sighed. "I know I'm gonna have to talk to him but I don't want to."
Ronnie was quiet for a minute. "When you left I thought you decided you were done with me."
I leaned against him and sighed again. "I had to talk to him you know. I wouldn't just leave for no reason."
He smiled. "So.. you're with me now?"
I chuckled. "Let's give it a bit. I don't want to be dating a new guy a day after I break up with someone I dated for years."
Ronnie made a pouting face. "Only two." He whined.
I rolled my eyes. "No. We'll give it a while, see how things work."
He smiled again and put an arm around me and kissed my cheek.
I frowned. "I won't be fired will I? I can still live here?"
He squeezed me. "I don't see why you'd get fired, and of course. Where else would you go, the streets? I don't think so."
I smiled and then my stomach growled. I haven't ate since yesterday.. Wait, no I haven't ate since the day before yesterday. I jumped up and put four toaster strudels in to cook and put the frosting in my my bra.
Ronnie started laughing. "Why the hell is that in your shirt?"
I laughed too. "Because! It's frozen and I want it to warm up so it goes on the thing easier!"
He rolled his eyes and picked me up. "You are one weird kid."
I playfully hit his chest. "Set me down!"
He started walking around the room holding me. "No, I don't think I will."
The toaster dinged as the strudel popped up and I glared at Ronnie, wanting to be eating already.
He started laughing, so I bit him and he dropped me. I was ready for the fall though, landing on one foot and both hands to help me spring toward the toaster the second I hit the ground. I got there in one jump and grabbed a strudel and iced it and was finished with it and starting the next before Ronnie calmed his laughter down at all.
He sat down beside me and kissed my nose. "You're too cute sometimes."
I laughed for a second and then we heard a knock at my door. "Lex?"
