Inversius of Chaldea

The Bored Bureaucrat

The sun beat down on Inversius' head like a senator's fist to a table in heated debate. It was the day of Venus in the ides of June, in other words, a hot summers day. One which Inversius would have to spend in doors in a cramped office filing papyrus for the glory of Rome, "Hail Caesar" he cynically sighed as he lowered his arm to stamp one last letter with the waxy seal of the Empire. Finally, Inversius could head home for the day. As he arose from his seat he felt sweat drops trickle down his back and stain his toga. Irritated his body poured out of the molten hot office and into the forum where crowds of familiar faces embraced his vision and the Arcadian smell of fresh bread filled the air. Soon that very same bread, he thought, would be filling his stomach, as all the paperwork caused him to work up an appetite.

On his way to the bread vendor he noticed an especially familiar face, an especially familiar feminine face. He was detracted from his hunger by the familiar vixen and coolly, well, as cool as one can be in the ides of June anyway, walked over to her snack shop. "Salve Valeria" Inversius said with a grin. She smirked back at the easy to read flirtatious bureaucrat, "Salve Inversius, how was your week?" Inversius, who's eyes had just made circles which would make Euclid envious, espoused, "The same arm motion all day every day, such is befitting of the highly esteemed Roman Senator." Valeria giggled gently and outstretched a loaf of bread to her friend, "This one's on the house, long live the SPQR." Inversius accepted it at the same time unleashing a hardy laugh, "BAHAHAHA that's rich, 'long live the SPQR' indeed, it's so long lived it's only still alive holding a wolf by its ears."

Suddenly a marathon runner came out of nowhere to greet Inversius panting, taken aback Inversius asked "What is it boy?" "Important letter from Imperator Marcus Aurelius" Inversius wore a look of utter disgust, "Marcus Aurelius? What a joke, you need to work on your punchline. I'm a plebian bureaucrat what would the Emperor ever want with a low-level Senate lacky like me?" Inversius took the obviously modified letter to tear it asunder when he noticed the seal, his look of disgust soon turned to one of awe "This really is from the Emperor! That seal is unmistakable" his jaw dropped like an elephant plummeting off the tip of the alps, "What on earth does he want?"

He read the letter front and back as his eyes couldn't believe what he saw. Valeria eventually spoke up, "So, you gonna eat that bread?" To dismiss her concern Inversius shoved the bread into his mouth and devoured it, she cringed and concerningly spoke, "Woah Inversius slow down, you ate that quicker than you can cook asparagus I don't want to have to save you from choking again." Inversius had ignored her until he finished reading, "What's it say?", she asked. He looked at her, dazzled, "it says I'm summoned to the imperial court for a meeting with Emperor Marcus Aurelius."