That night of ours. Book 2

Chapter 14

••••kindly put on your playlist ••••••••••••
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"So you're telling me this has been happening since the last tour you were with us?!" Andrew says with a shook. "Yeah." Shawn says as he scratches the back of his neck with rosy cheeks. "Damn it, you guys! And you didn't tell me!" He says with frustration. "We couldn't! I could have lost my job." I say. "I could have lost the girl I am in love with!" Shawn says as he looks at me. I just smile at him. It is good to hear that someone loves you sometimes. I really love Shawn. He is the man I would picture my whole life with. I really don't wanna lose him, cause losing him will be like losing a part of me that I can never heal. "So you love her?!" Andrew asks him. He nods as he looks at me. "More than anything." He says with that beautiful smile of his. "So if you're guys a thing, why don't you tell Tina?" Andrew says. "We can't!!!" I says suddenly. I really don't know why we can tell Tina. Maybe because that would mean that me and Shawn are serious. I still can't be the girlfriend of a guy that millions of other girls are dreaming to be with. I don't even like the lights. I can't make a family that way. "Why, Toni?" Andrew asks again. "I am not ready! I can't do this!" I says as I get up and leave the room. I shut the door behind me. I take a deep breath as my eye close. I am scared.I am scared of being with Shawn and I am scared of losing him too. I am in deep trouble.

"And then he took me to a tour in a boat across Vince. It was so romantic, mom!" Tina says with a tone of lovers. Oh god! This girl is definitely in love. The door knocks and Tina gets up to open. I hear the door close again. Shawn comes back inside and Tina is gone. "Where is Tina?" I ask him. He sits in front of me on the bed. "Went to see Michel." He says. His hair is messy as always. He is wearing a maroon shirt along  with black jeans. "Thanks for letting him join us." I say. "Well, I get benefits. You see I get to hang around you when Tina is busy with him." He says with a smirk. I roll my eyes at him. "Why did you leave?" He asks. I look at him. His eyes are a mixture fo burned chocolate brown and honey-green. "Do you really love me, Toni?" He asks me as he takes my hands into his. "I....I do. I just...." I say in a nervous tone. I do love Shawn. I am just scared. I pull my hands away and get up. I walk to the balcony and stand there. Vince looks beautiful at night. A cold breeze brushes across my skin. I feel his hands around my waist. He places his head on my shoulder. "I love you. Even if you don't." He whispers in my ear. I turn to face him. "I do love you! I am just scared okay?!!" I say as I feel tears growing in my eyes. He looks surprised. "You're scared of me?" He says in a low voice it almost seems like whispering. "Of course not, you idiot! I am scared of losing you. Because of this damn job of yours. I can't be your wife when a thousand other girls wish to be me. I just can't." I say as I fell tears running down my cheeks one after the other. "Then I will leave it! I will leave the job! I will marry you. I will find another one. Maybe own a bookstore or something." He says. His eyes are also full of tears. "No! I can't let you do that! You love what you do!" I say. "But I love you more!" He says as a tear found its way across his cheek. I pull him into a hug. I can't let this happen. I can't let destroy Shawn's life just becauseI love him.