She knew he would but she wasn't expecting it till later. Like he would give her time to prepare at least. But since when did he not do what he wanted?
On the fifth ring of the third call, she picked up the phone. Staring at it wasn't going to solve anything.
She didn't say anything nor can she hear anything on the other end of the line. She waited; she had nothing more to say to him.
He called her that name she always loved hearing. His voice cracked and she knew immediately he had been crying. There was a tight clenching in her chest then but she refused to acknowledge it.
He called out for her. That name again.
"Hmm."
"I...I need to talk to...can I see you?"
"No."
Desperate, this time. "Please."
"You can say everything you want to me right now." Her grip tightened on the phone, anticipating his words.
"There's nothing going on between Jane and me..."
She did not reply. He was still going to lie after everything. The pictures, the messages, that event.[timm1]
"It was just...something that happened. Once. I swear. I just got...the people and the music..."
You got blinded. By everything.
I’ve seen it happen before you. I told you about it. Warned you.
It still happened.
Blinded.
Her name again. Followed by a gasp or air.
She couldn’t stand it. She said his name.
"Y-yeah?" He said in an instant, as if waiting for her to say it, as if clutching on a lifeline.
"It’s Jane, I understand. I’ve always –"
“No! It's not like that!"
" – told you that you should date someone your age. Jane is right for you."
"The pictures are nothing. They don't mean anything. Please. Listen to me. She is no one to me. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please."
She can hear the pleas and desperation in his voice again. The whole time they were together, she didn’t hear it once so there was an odd sense of wonder to hear it now. Even with their current state.
She could feel the sting in her eyes, the lump in her throat...but no. No. She said she wouldn't shed any more tears for him.
She didn’t think there were any left.
That name again. Over and over again. Desperate and anguished and crying. When there was a pause, there was a gasp, a choke, a sob.
"If you wanted to be with her, why didn't you just tell me? You could've told me and I'd understand but you faced me everyday like everything was perfectly fine when it wasn’t."
"I don't want Jane! I don’t want to be with her. I only see you. Please. Please please. Listen to me please. I don't care about her. I care about you.”
He cried out, calling her.
And then that name he called her so affectionately before.
She closed her eyes, listening to his voice. Hearing him helpless, more than anything, broke her. There was no stopping the tears this time. They fell endlessly.
He was crying too and the pain struck her twice now. She was hurting and knowing he was hurting too was too much.
She had to end it.
She called his name.
There was nothing but the sound of pain.
She called out for him again, tenderly this time.
"I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I couldn't give you what you wanted. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted. But I understand, okay?”
Unlike her, Jane was like him. She belonged on the stage like him. They were the same age and had the same experiences, shared the same spotlight.
“I can never be that person for you.”
"No!” He lashed out in fury. “There's only you.”
It was her name again. Then his name for her.
“It's only you."
"We can't –” She paused, catching her breath. “Thiswon't work. This is...over. Then you can be with her. Please. Be happy. No matter what, be happy."
It was the one thing she most wished to see him be. She knew the struggle he had to go through to be where he was now. How he felt when he was exhausted to the point of collapse. When he was criticized for his talent. When there was no time to rest. When online comments got the better of him.
He called out for her, hiccupping her name.
"No. Please don't. How can I be happy? Please."
"I'm sorry."
