It's Her Hair & Her Eyes

Dear 0.00001,

I'm sure you're wondering why my friends and I code-named you this. That's because I claim to be 0.00001 gay for you. What a great way to start this letter, huh? You understand what I'm attempting to say here however, right?

I like you.

Kind of.

Was I stalking you in the cafeteria at lunch time on Valentine's Day?

Nobody answer that.

What I mean to say is, every time I pass you in the halls my heart flutters. When our eyes meet even just for a second, your curious gaze gets me through the whole day. Although I wear a pissed-off poker face, when you turn the corner.. When you're sadly out of sight, my friends fear for their limbs, because the amount of pressure I squeeze from my arms is how tightly I long to embrace you. It's also my way of expressing the anger I feel on myself when my lack of courage is never enough to call out a simple "hello."

I'd rejoice the day of when I can finally ask you the simple question. While Observing your tender lips as they form the words to your answer.

"Hey! Um, I think you're r-really cute. Would you like to hang out sometime? Just the two of us. I'd love to learn and tell you more of how cute I think you are."

Gulp.

Something stupid like that.

And if you say yes..

I'd run away, face all red. I'd continue blushing even until the day we meet up at a cafe. It's one of those aesthetic hipster ones that travel gurus on Instagram take pictures of. We'd be seated at a small round birch wood table by large windows that display a view of the city. Mini pots of cacti hang from the tall ceiling, along warm lights that help me admire the view; your pretty face, illuminated.

We'd talk for an hour or so, and then take a walk by the lake shore, splash around in the clear shallows of the water. I'd like to know more about you. The things you love, and the things you hate. It'll give me a hint if I can become one of them in the future.

You know.. become one of the things you love.

I'd also tell you a few things about me. Including the fact that you're the reason why I hate Valentine's Day a little less now. You differ greatly from my past crushes. Since you're the first girl I've ever had these feelings for. But my anxiety comes when people ask which gender I'm attracted to.

You see, I still don't know what to label myself. I don't know many things. This date is just one of my dreams written in this letter you'll never read anyway. I'm sure about one thing now though..

I like you.

And it all started in the halls with your soft short waves that sit above your warm chestnut eyes.