A Moss's Tale

What a Shame

What a Shame

Diary, journal - or whatever sounds cooler. I'll call you Shirls. Anyway, Shirls I have a lot to say today, I hope my pen doesn't hurt you from all the writing. So today I met a guy - let me be frank here and tell you he's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life. So being me, I got my flirt on with my fingers twisting the ends of my hair, you know all that crap. The guy is gay. Freaking gay. He loves boys, boys love him, girls want him but he's just knocking himself to the other team. Honestly? Come on. Can't there be some biological part of him that's attracted to females? I mean, why him? Why does every single hot guy have to be gay? Really, why can't it be the ugly ones? No offense to any uglies out there (Shirls, your boyfriend doesn't count, he's a textbook) but I'm not lying. Matt Bomer? Gay. Neil Patrick Harris? Gay. Jonathan Groff and Zachary Quinto? GAY! It makes me so sad. I've got nothing against the whole gay family but at least share a slice for the starving women out here. Honestly, I can look at Matt Bomer all day and just sigh. What a shame.

Shirls, I have a question for you. I'm feeling a bit down and confused. Not because Grade 11 is a bit tougher than I expected but because I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed. I want to be everything at the same yet I know I can't. Oh, and don't even dare say I can be anything I want even if it is everything because I want to be an astronaut, architect, interior designer, author, history teacher, actress, and maybe even add on the computer graphics designer. How can I do all of that at the same time? Exactly. I can only choose one, well two really because whatever I choose I'll still become an author and write novels. I love my novels. So I can only choose two. I've already gotten author down, so I have one more. How do I choose? I guess I suck at math, so I can rule out computer graphics designer. I'm not even going to talk about the astronaut one - I love astronomy; I'm absolutely fascinated by outer space and yet I don't have the high quality thinking that must come with that job. I guess I should cross that one out too. What is left? Architect, interior designer, actress and history teacher.

Alright Shirls, let's talk mula. Money. Colourful paper. The one thing that makes people power hungry and some homeless. Cash money bitches. Interior designers can get paid well or too low, it depends on their skill and who they work with... I think. I hate researching, I don't know which information is right. I can't afford a job that doesn't pay well because my family is in the poor and bankrupt dumps already. I need a job that pays well and pays enough. Architects are paid well, that's for sure. However, I don't think I can manage all of the responsibilities that would be bestowed upon me. Yes, I just said 'bestowed'. Don't mock me, I can see you making that face right now. History teacher. Let's get this straight, Shirls - I love history. In fact, I loved history so much I didn't even know I loved it until last year when I had history class and my elderly teacher - who turned off his hearing aid every time my BFF talked to him - inspired me about history. I had never thought of becoming a teacher, considering there's so many people studying to become one. Teachers make good money, and come on, they get summers off. What's not to like? Not much, that's why there's so many of them. So many, in fact, that I probably wouldn't be able to get a steady job if I tried. Right now, I'm freaking out. I hate not knowing what to do. My writing is getting a bit shaky, so some of my words might not make sense, don't hate me Shirls; I can't help it.

Anyway, as I was saying, the last one is actress. Now, I know what you're thinking: she wants to be one of those famous rich girls who end up on magazine covers because she was sent to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. Ok, first of all, I will never consume drugs. Advil doesn't count. Also, when I'm older I probably will end up sipping a beer here and there but I will never let myself become an alcoholic. I've been around too many of those people - damn family - to become one. I've learned my lessons through their actions (my cousins didn't). Sure, having my name known wouldn't be the death of me but it isn't about that for me. Honestly. I love acting almost as much as I do writing, and that's pretty huge if I do say so myself. Acting is fun, and you meet new people (wink wink) and hopefully some non-gay hot guys. Problem is, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can go to University to study for it without having my family ridicule me. Alright Shirls, let me tell you something. My family is hardcore, all they do are factory jobs that give them decent money and then they complain about it over 10 beers when they come home. That's my family for you.

I'm leaning towards acting, but I don't know. Yes, I'm being serious here - I want your honest opinion.

What do you think, Shirls?