E-Dating

Chapter 1 :Love Ain't So Easy

Games... work and college... Thats my life... Quite boring from an outside perspective but for me it was enough to stay occupied, next to gaming i also loved to roleplay on websites, a guilty pleasure perhaps? as this was something I kept to myself, it felt emberassing to talk about for some reason... I don't know why but it didn't matter as long as i enjoyed myself on there... Poeple from all over the world could come on these websites dedicated to roleplays, you would make your account, biography and what you are into when you roleplay. besides what they put down you would know nothing about those poeple... for all you knew they were all fake.

I would be on there all the time whenever i had time... seeing if the poeple i partnered up with would have already replied with their part of the story, to wich I would amidietly respond if I knew something good. This has been going on for about 3 years untill one day something changed that... since then i would never go on there again....

I was looking on there for poeple to roleplay with as my "friends" on there didn't reply anymore... I would add poeple that interested me... but there was one that interested me the most... her username was EmberFlame. seems like common name from all the other names I saw on there.. but as soon as i read further into her profile I found myself wanting to be her friend... In her biography she was straight to the point about what she was looking for in a roleplayer... and from what I read I knew it would be a challange for me... but a challange like this I could not pass up... so I send her a request... Next thing I knew she had already accepted it... As usual I would start off with with the Common "Hello, thanks for accepting my request. How are you?" to wich she responded with also the Common "No problem, I'm doing fine, you?"  I replied back "I'm doing good, Would you like to get into a Roleplay or rather get to know eachother more" this seemed to be a unnusual response since from what she told me later on... most guys would just skip everything and go over to roleplaying... I wanted to get to know her better for some reason.. she seemed so interesting yet I barely knew why. Before we started we chatted for a little. Turned out she lived somewhere in the middle of the USA.... thats pretty fucking far away if you ask me.. but hey... It was not like we were gonna meet up or something....

Later on she gave me her name on a social  media site that was more suited for roleplaying and chatting as with the dedicated one it could take up to 20 minutes to get a "hi" or "hello" back... her profile picture just seemed like a regular anime girl... though when i pressed on her profile i saw it was linked to something music related... once i clicked on there i found out her name... Ava.... god it was beautifull name.. and there was a picture with it aswell... I didnt know if it outdated or simply taken from google... for all I knew I was chatting with some sweatty greaseball that loved trolling poeple... so at first i tried to stay cautious... we still had not roleplayed... but we kinda hit it off. We were getting along so well without even doing what we were ment to doing... that had to mean something right?.... the next day I got into a call with her... and thats when everything I hoped for became a Reality... She was real! She was the person in the picture! My heart was racing.... I felt like i had a crush on her.... it had been some time since i had a girlfriend... same for her with a boyfriend... both of us had lost our virginity at a young age wich also gave us something in common... though it didn't ment that we were that experienced... far from it... there was still alot we had to find out... but somewhere... deep inside... I wanted her to be the one i experienced those things with... I couldnt pass this up... I could never.... and so I did what I would never dare to do Eye to Eye with someone....

                                                 I asked if I could be her boyfriend......

She told me it would be a waste of time.... Most of the guys she had dated had broken and betrayed her heart by cheating on her.... saying that if I would show up I would be in the aftermath... She would be Jeallous, super clingy... and all that while I would try to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and put the back together... I was the Jeallous type aswell.... and clingy...  we both were very self-consious... and at first I thought these were good things to have in common.... I was wrong....  But I never knew this then and so I said I could take it on... I could take on her jeallousy... her clinginess and her wanting constant attention... and so... after 2 days of meeting this complete stranger... we started dating... even though I didnt even know half of the things about her... and so did she with me....

The first few days went well for us... we had fun talking to eachother day in day out... whenever I would get home from work I would start up my PC to talk to her untill it was around 9 AM her time.... while over here it was already becoming morning... but I didn't care if I got tired... The chemistry between us felt so strong that I "being tired" was something I would only start to notice whenever we did not talk... Every day I would say the same things "Good morning", "hows school?" , "any plans for today?" and every time she replied to it to the point that i can now say... 2 months later...whenever she woke up, what she thinks of school... what shes gonna do when shes home... (wich were mostly chores her parents put her up with) and when she (usually) goes to sleep... if she had other plans she would always give me a headsup instead of suddenly dropping the bomb on me that she had plans that day... it might seem controlling from my side.... wanting to know where she was every time of the day... it had its reasons.... From what she told me... the guys over there are not like they are here... or atleast most are... She had a stalker that went to her house once a week... a stalker that assaulted her once... so it would be natural that i want to know everything... I trusted her... but not the poeple around her... 

For her... it was basically the same... she had been cheated on a few times and her trust for her boyfriend was barely there... she wanted to know what i was doing, who i was chilling with and what my plans were... and I told her this in a heart beat... i would stay loyal to her untill she finally trusted me.... Ive been cheated on once... it fucking sucks... so for her to be cheated on multiple times... is just unimaginable for me.... she deserves a good boyfriend... and i planned to be that boyfriend.... So... for her I was an open book

Our first week went good.... no "fights" yet so to say... and our bond grew closer and closer to the point we were getting intimate with eachother.. but remember... she was on the other side of the world... so all of this was done at unpractical times... times I didn't care about... all over video-chat... slowly but surely I started to fall in love with this girl... and I felt like she was falling in love aswell.... but this is where the self-consiousness kicked in... there were days I felt like I was not "worthy" of her... that she deserved better.. that I was a selfish asshole.... and most of the times I hid this from her.... I didn't want her to know I was already struggling with this... Work had been stressing me out and I didn't want her to be a source of stress either.... I didn't know if she felt the same sometimes... there were times she openly told me she needed alone time... at first it hurted alot... I mean we were talking 24/7 to eachother and suddenly she wasn't there anymore.... Did I do something wrong? where did I mess up? I craved conformation... her approval.. her love...

But she always came back.... she would tell me why she dissapeared.. and I would listen with interest... I needed to... as her boyfriend I wanted to be the person she could tell everything to... and most of the time she did tell everything.... I think this was love yes.... but this was going to be a difficult path to follow.... by my heart wanted to follow it anyway....


                                                                 This was week 1 of a continuing relationship