In My Dreams

It had been a long day, and it was the opposite of a good one - everything I did and everything that happened to me only seemed to further drag me down into a sea of negative emotions. With everything that's happened to me so far, I would have given in by now. By my count, I should have had a catastrophic mental breakdown a long time ago. But I didn't; for there was something that lifted me up no matter how far I fell. Not just something- somewhere. So, after every long day when I felt like I couldn't go on any longer, I would lay down in my bed for respite and as my eyes wound shut I would drift away.

Just as I'd go to sleep, I'd awaken again, my eyes wide open. But I'm not in the same bed which I got into. I'm not even on the same planet - I don't even know if it's the same universe! Streaks of purple hair would cover my face and my long pink highlights would be in my mouth again; it always seems to happen when I wake up there. I'd get up and ruffle the feathers of my wings to bring them back to life, and walk up to the large mirror in the bedroom, casting a spell with my horn that magically tidies my hair. From absolutely horrific, frizzy, and all over the place to neat, plaited, and decorated in a matter of seconds - it's almost unreal. Oh - wait, I guess since it is a dream, it actually isn't real.

Or is it? This world which I visit every night in my sleep is incredibly vivid and I can see details that are uncannily true to life; I'm even able to catch the aromatic scents coming from the patisserie just opposite my 'dream' house. I've never had any other dreams, nor any nightmares. All I know is that when I close my eyes, on my tattered pillow in my cold bed in the dark of the night, I'd go to a place where all my grievances are gone and where I am always happy. I see others there. They aren't humans though - they are ponies. And they are all friendly and welcoming. There are three main species of pony - the earth ponies that work the land, the magic-bearing unicorns, and the wing-toting pegasi. And yet I don't seem to fit in, for I have both wings larger than any pegasi and a magical horn that a unicorn could only dream of: I'm not sure whether I deserve it or whether it's just a by-product of being in a self-centred dream world? And how and why was I taken to this place in my sleep in the first place?

It's a question I ponder every day, yet going out for a walk in this land of my dreams makes me forget all the questions I have. I have no worries here and I'm free to walk bare-hooved in the grass, the flowers smiling at me from below and manifesting their beautiful colours to the passers-by. The sun beams down as if it is a window into the heavens, bathing the land in warmth and light. I don't think I've ever seen it rain here - a big contrast to the weather from my real world. I'm free to do whatever I want, whether it be enjoying the food (my favourites are the cupcakes!), or soaring through the sky with the help of my wings. The friends I have here, however, are the sweet cherry on top; on days in the real world where I've felt abandoned or ignored by my real friends, they have came through for me in ways that I could never have imagined. Needless to say that I've had more adventures with them in that land than I have in my actual life.

However, there was this one night where I laid my head on my pillow in anticipation of returning to this dream land for another fun filled adventure. What actually happened was far from the truth, however. In an instant, the beast appeared in front of me, clutching my bed after having very visibly torn through my house. I jumped as it lunged for me, its talons razor sharp like daggers. Just the sight of it was enough to make the bravest of warriors tremble in their hearts; yet what scared me most was not the great devil before me, however. It was rather the lack of the sight of my friends; the destruction of their precious homes making me anxious; and screams I could hear far off in the distance. I stood there for a few moments as I finally took in the fact that my endless dream had now become a nightmare.

For a moment, the fear that ran through my veins paralysed me. Remembering all the times in the 'real' life where I felt powerless and helpless, I could only help but feel the same way - only it wasn't, it felt much worse. The beast that stood in front of me, I could have likened it to many things - my depression, the endless chants of the bullies shadowing me in the corridor, the persona of my life in general. My face was wet with tears; why was this happening? Why now?

But then -as all hope seemed lost- I realised, surrounded by all the destruction and carnage, that my pony friends meant so much to me. When I felt down in 'real' life, they came through for me. When I felt bored, they gave me enjoyment beyond compare. And when I questioned who I was, they knew exactly who I was on the inside. To the people in my real world I was just another average, introverted girl who was socially awkward enough to not have friends; in Equestria, the land of my dreams, everyone loved me for who I was, let me be who I really wanted to be, and gave me happiness that had been missing from my life for so long. A new warmth ignited in my heart that I had never felt before, and soon it gave me courage that I didn't realise I could ever muster. I didn't stay standing there any longer. My wings extended wide and with a powerful leap from my hind legs, I was thrust into the air: I wasn't going to stand idly by while the ponies who needed me most -the ones who I once needed so much- were in suffering.

Suddenly, I felt like I was floating, and my wings gave in on me as I rose into the air. It sounds strange, but my heart felt like it was warming and the last thing I remember seeing was the beast falling and disintegrating as everything turned to white. Then I woke up. I was in my bed, back in the depressing real world. Only it wasn't so depressing anymore. There was something about the morning sun seeping in through the curtains as I woke up to a weekend day that made it slightly more tolerable. And then the news came.

We were moving house. To a much better town, which was by the seaside too. Which meant I was moving school, which meant new friends, which meant a new beginning! Within a matter of a few days my experience of real life turned around. I made new friends that loved me a lot and for the first time I could recreate the experiences I had in the realm of my dreams in my actual life. I felt included and my life went from being a daily struggle to a new adventure each day. It's in my firm belief that none of this would have been possible without my pony friends, whom I still meet to this day when I lay down to rest after a long day of enjoyment. Some might say it's crazy that half of my friends are imaginary, but every time I'm with them, every time I'm in their embrace, I feel a power watching over me from above, reassuring me that this magical world is every bit as real as my 'real' life.