serene desolation

0.2

serene desolation 0.2
"that's not what should be taught, mother." i said. the poorly made glass shattered from the pressure i built on from squeezing the cup so harshly.
"christopher, you cannot talk like that. down to your father for punishment, now."
My little brother watched from the steps in dread, and as soon as the basement door shut behind him, the stairs above shook as he raced to his bedroom to grab his headphones to avoid the noise he dreaded the most.
~
"i hate this. woojin i hate this so much." i snapped another pencil, throwing it in the bin with all the other snapped ones.
"let's meet. usual?" he said.
"y-yeah, sure. let me check in on jeongin to make sure he's asleep." i responded and ended the call.
the new, polished flooring underneath me never once made a creak, making it easy to go wherever i wanted without a trace of evidence. of course my parents tried to use tape on the outside of the main door to sound if i left, but it was against the rules of the neighborhood aesthetic and they were punished for it. even then the basement door is easily openable for guards to access when they please.
i slowly turned the door knob, hoping to not make much of a sound, which wasn't hard since hinges and the doors were fixed to perfection on the weekly. his face was calm and peaceful, reminding me of when he was a baby and everything was okay. when he would run into my arms with the most gorgeous, joy-filled face.
days like those were a blessing in disguise. they made me happy during the time, but now when there are dreadful church meetings and killings, dark web murders and kids being kidnapped, it's hard for any of us to smile anymore. the children get used to it and accept that this was the life that they were born into.

i don't like that.

the curtains blew in the warm-filled wind. without his pastel blue mask or built-in modules to filter, he'd get cancer in a week.
why'd he leave it open?
his purple, thick rug feels nice under my feet. i walk over to the window to shut it, and his head turns towards the window, tilting upward. i panic before noticing he's still sound asleep, his eyelids closed shut.

the door is closed behind me, and i walk down the basement where the creak in the floor is visible, and lift the plank. underneath is certain things i've found anywhere where it didn't belong. i take the gun that shines in the expensive white light above me. the gun is loaded full, and i doubt i'll need any more bullets.

to be honest, it isn't the best hiding place for the misfits. guards could come whenever and fix the basement floors as they do with the top floors.

this would be true, except they have fixed it in years, for god knows why. they fix the finishing on the outside, and anything on the inside can rot like the rest of us.

i'm careful anyway, it's not like breaking the rules is easy for anyone. it's not like that one man in the forest taught me everything and died four months later.

"ARTHUR ITS NOT THAT EASY!" my mothers voice rang through the vents.

"WELL MAYBE NEXT TIME KEEP A WATCH AS TO WHERE THE MONEY GOES!"

"KEEP A WATCH AS TO WHAT MARRIED WOMANS HOUSE HAS YOUR PANTS!"

not today. not tonight. thankfully jeongin is a deep sleep kid. he's not as painstakingly aware as i can be, which is a good thing for at least one member of the so-called-stitched-up family we have.

i exhale another breath. he's asleep i'm sure, i can feel it. i wire my chip for three hours off the map and head out the basement window that is always forgotten to lock.

the man never told my why the guards can't see me half the time, and he never explained why chips worked the way they worked. he only explained that it's like any other chip. they track where you go and how you got there. but like the rest of this neighbourhood, there's more than just that.

i wait for the flashlight to pass by and crouch past, going fast. i slid under a car and up and over the trash can to the other side of the fence. i stepped on every spray painted step the man made for me, leaving boulders to lead the way and leaving darker marks on louder areas.

crack. i hide behind a tree and pull out the gun, getting ready to pull a trigger if needed. not a spec of white uniform is in sight, so i carry on. i can't help but to smile. it was no doubt a kid, so at the last step i turn a different way into a darker area. no doubt they can't follow me now.

the cold metal creaks under me until i reach the top of the abandoned roof where my boyfriend stares up at the sky.
woojin turns and gives his warm smile. he walks closer and i pull him into a hug, giving him a quick kiss before we lay down, the warmth of the summer night keeping us from being uncomfortable.

"did you have a good day love?" his hands run through my hair, giving me a kiss on my forehead.

to be completely honest, no, today sucked. i followed what we had to do and did the schedule, but it wasn't anything i wanted to do.

i wanted to stay home with him, make a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie. i want to have a house and a family and not worry what others think. i want to be able to roam my own land without being scared to shit if a guard is going to kill me. i want to know that my brother can be himself when he wants to be.

"it was good. you?"
he sighs, knowing it obviously wasn't. his eyes glaze over to the stars again.
"it was like always." he responds.
"like always. wanting to be able to love you in public without getting shot. wanting to be with you every living moment, yet have to settle for this."

i lean in for a kiss, before turning around and seeing jeongin coming up the ladder.

"jeongin what are you doing?! you're supposed to be in bed! how did you even get out?!" i say.

he runs over and lays down between us, curling up and falling asleep.

i sigh at his rebellious behaviour and give a kiss on his forehead.
"hopefully one day we can raise you together to be the family we wish to be and the life we dream to have."