"Baby, you're a ten. You have zero flaws and you're the one for me" -Nathaniel Vitro
or the one in which a plus-size woman is adored and loved on by the big man on campus who just so happens to be her crazy loving boyfriend.
'-I'm locked up, They won't let me out, No, oh, they won't let me out, I'm locked up, They wo-'
"Nathaniel shut the fuck up!", dad leered from across the jail cell.
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Yup, you read that right. Jail cell, with my old man. That's not even the biggest plot twist in all of this. I will save that for a little later though.
"Daddy, i'm bored", I groaned.
I was lying on the trashy ass bed with my head hanging off the side of the bed while he sat on the top bunk with his legs hanging over the edge.
I seriously felt him rolling his eyes. "Nathaniel, shut up. I already have enough stress going on as is and I do not need your whiny voice or shitty singing to add more to it", he said sternly.
"That's cold old man", I chided.
"Ow, fuck!", I yelled in pain clutching my forehead.
The old cook had hopped from the top bunk and kicked me in the forehead.
"Shut up, bitch", he sneered adjusting his clothes slightly.
"I'm telling mama on you", I grumbled rubbing what felt like the forming of a new bruise.
He rolled his eyes. "It's not like she isn't already going to kill me. Why not give her another reason, coglione di merda", he said blandly.
I scoffed, "Perche'mamma ti ha dovuto scegliere? Deve allenarti di nuovo, vecchio mut. Inoltre, non sono uno stronzo di spia. Smettila di fare la femminuccia e prendi la punizione come un uomo, vecchio mio", I retorted sitting upright on the bed allowing my hand to fall away from my sore face.
Dad tisked plopping on the bed beside me. "You could of fooled me, son", he grumbled.
It became silent between us for a short while. He let out a deep sigh.
"How angry do you think our wives will be when they get here?", he asked thoughtfully.
I bullshit you not that I saw my whole life flash before my eyes at the thought of my baby coming to bail me out of jail. She was surely coming to kill me first before my mom or my aunts could.
"It was nice living while we could", I retorted honestly.
