i know its not right

backstory

okay so you know that feeling you get when you did something right. Like it wasn't for your benefit for you but for another person. yeah well that's how I feel right about now.

Let's see let me give you some key details you might need to catch up to where I'm currently at. I'm Alexis, Alex for short. Last name Rivera. I'm about 5'5 pretty average height, pretty average body. Well I mean a little bit above average body. Honor classes, High school sophomore.

And the boy I'm currently upset over would be Erik King. Not really much too him at first glance. He was in my honors English class freshman year. Killer body. Never really talked though. So I'm thinking he's was cute and didn't talk much so I decided to hit him up. After all I thought he was gonna be this innocent boy. But boy was I wrong.

We didn't become boyfriend and girlfriend like I would've expected instead we became friends with benefits. We'd text everyday make out in the hallways. It was all fun and games no one caught feelings, At least that's what I told myself. November-ish I found out that this boy who was a great kiss had a girlfriend at another school thanks to his bestfriend. Mad respect for her, telling me her best friend was cheating on his girl with me, just so I wouldn't get hurt. Found out got upset stopped talking to him. Completely ghost.

But like a lost puppy I went to him again. We picked up where we had left off making out and talking. This time I was sure there were no feelings. Till I found out he had another girl besides me. This time at our school. Except I couldn't possible be mad me and him weren't dating, Stopped talking to him again.

My dumbass however went back to him. except tis time it was no longer freshman year but half way through the second semester of sophomore year. There was no making out just texting. I thought he might like like me this time. Then Carlos comes along and starts texting me. Really nice guy. Carlos texted on a Monday. And now its the Thursday before spring break. Carlos was onr of my friends friends. Seems like a nice guy till my friend tells me he's a hoe. Great that lasted four days. Now I don't have Carlos but I do have Erik. Its Friday and turns out Erik has a girlfriend he failed to tell me about. Third time he does this. I go off on him this time not like the other two times. I fall asleep mad. Its Saturday morning and now I realize I can't be mad at him he was never mine. I was mad at myself cause I know this would happen again

Currently its midnight. Missing talking to him like crazy. I know I did the right but.. I mean if he's not going to respect his relationship I am. Its just that very time I think of him I want to throw something. Preferably at his head. And this brings us to now.