Set me Free

         I awake at the first sign of daylight to the sounds of my fellow slaves rustling around the meager stick and mud shelter we now call home.  I arise as quickly as my strength will allow and awaken my child gently, but swiftly, because I know all too well that tardiness will result in a ruthless beating, to where we are on the edge of death by our heartless overseer.  Here, we are only viewed as stupid mules, who are only good for working, and taking up space...they do not view us as equals.  We are not even humans to them.  I look at my child’s sweet face and I can tell that she dreams of freedom, and a better life that I can’t provide for her. “Come on darling, its time to get up, we must hurry.”  As she opens her eyes, her smile fades, and her eyes brim with bitter tears. “Please don’t make me go today! Mama I don’t think I can make it another day out there….” “Take my hand and close your eyes child, think of a day when we are set free of our bondage, think of a day where we will see daddy again, okay? Keep holding on to that hope and you can make it through. One day we will have that…it will happen for us one day I promise.” I can see that she is weary, and worn, but I hurry her along and try not to think about her pain. Not thinking about the torture we go through is the only way to survive here, we don’t survive on food, shelter, or even water on a burning hot day, we survive on hope.

        If we run we can make it to roll call, so we run as fast as our weary legs will carry us. We make it just as the overseer calls our names. Next we are split into groups of men, woman and children to do different work. I clasp onto my child’s hand to reassure her that it will be okay, that today is just another day, I clasp onto her hand to give her hope. Today I am assigned to the cotton field, the work is tough and the day is long. We pick the cotton until our fingers bleed, and then there is always more picking to be done. I take my time during the day to reflect on how lucky I am to be able to have my daughter here, and how I am blessed by God. Even though we are given only what we need to be on the brink of survival, I am thankful that I at least have that. I would suppose that some people out here are just waiting to die, some have already given up, but not me. Giving up would mean that I let them win. I refuse to let them win no matter how hard I have to fight! I have a fire in me that burns with hate. Each day the fire grows bigger and bigger. This fire fuels me to show them that I am worth something, that I am more that just a toy that they can use whenever they want…one day I will win. There is always something to do. Either we are doing what the overseer commands us, or we are tending to gardens to keep ourselves alive. We all rely on each other to survive, nobody can do it alone. Suddenly we hear the agonizing cry of a little girl and I instantly know its my baby.

        I sprint to the whipping station and I see her hanging by her hands covered in blood. I try to run to her but I am quickly rejected by a strong punch to the jaw. I feel myself fading in and out of consciousness. I hear her crying out to me. “Mama! Mama! Make it stop! Please make it stop!” No matter how hard I try I can’t make my legs move! I will myself to get up, to shout, to do something to make them stop, but nothing comes out. “I’m coming baby!” I try to yell, but it comes out barely audible.  I want to run to her so badly, to take her place, to take her pain away! Why is this happening to her? She’s just a child! In the midst of my confusion I feel my world slowly slip away.

        I awaken to soft whimpering’s next to me. As I open my eyes a pain floods to my head, and jaw. It’s all a confusion until suddenly it hits me. I jump up forgetting all about my pain and I stammer to my baby girl. “What happened baby?” “Mama I’m so sorry…I fell from weakness while I was working and the overseer passed by and saw me” she croaked “Mama please make the pain go away…it hurts so bad” As she fades in and out of consciousness, I turn her over and look at her back. There are seven slash marks where the whip hit her. I am filled with rage!  I want to get them back, but I know there is nothing I can do. This is how we live now.  I know that without medical help she will die, I can already see the life fading from her sweet little body, and I know that there is nothing I can do but lay by her and sing softly to her. I tell her stories of what heaven will be like when she gets there, and I tell her of the love of the Father. I tell her all about the streets of gold, and how she will finally be able to run and play and be free. I know that my time with her is slipping away fast; I want to hold on to her forever. All too quickly three hours later I feel the life leave her precious body and all I can do is rock her and cry. Soon the overseer walks into where we lay takes her from me, and walks away with my last bit of hope.  I don’t know what will happen to her, but I do know my baby is finally free.