Secrets (oc x oc)

Part 1

A/N : This is based on my school irl (apart from the characters and my schools ties are blue and yellow) and I live in Scotland so if it seems weird because you live in Some where other than Scotland, then this is what Scotch schools are like and I don't get why they are different from English school and I'm dyslexic so sorry if the spelling is shit, but anyway I'm going to actually start writing now so ye.

Jamie's p.o.v

I look in the mirror and see myself, I'm wearing a white short sleeve shirt, black skinny jeans and a red tie. I have black, kinda messy hair, brown eyes and ear piercings.

I think I'm ready for school, ugh I look like crap, why do I even bother to get out of bed in the morning, no one would care if I didn't. I have to put on a mask and a fake personality because I know everyone would hate me if they knew how I really am. At school I'm confident and work hard, I'm popular and everyone likes me for some stupid reason, but I'm actually a sad, lonely, gay, internally crying, peace of shit (basically I'm depressed). I can't remember the last time I laughed or smiled for real, I can't even remember the last time I felt happy. It all ways feels like someone has panted everything in my life black and grey, or I'm drowning in a sea and every time I reach the top and can breath, another wave comes and crashes down on me.

I walk downstairs, my sister goes to boarding school so I hardly ever see her, my dad is away on a business trip, and my mum is upstairs getting ready for work, so no one is in the kitchen.  My family never pays attention to me, they always seam to have something more important to pay attention to other than me, but I hate the fact that I think that I think like that because I know the the reason why they do that is because I'm not good enough. So I always try to improve myself, I brealy eat anything, I never ask for help with anything, I never have friends round and I never tell anyone how I really feel (like how I have bad mental health or like if I have a brake down I would just go to my room and cry).the only people who know are my parents because they got me tested for depression but they don't give to shits about it, the only thing they do is get me antidepressants and that's it, they don't think I kneed therapy even though I cry every night and I lock myself in my room at weekends and holidays.

I get a glass of water and take my antidepressants, then I make a bowl of cereal but only put a small portion in they bowl and put it by the sink like I do etch morning so it looks like I have eaten something. I grab my phone and school bag and head to the door, I put on my shoes and get my jacket, I reach for the door handle, I hesitat, take a deep breath and open the door and walk to school.

To be continued and I will try to make it longer