The Secret Life of Me

Chapter 2: Over-Calm Sisters and Leaving

"Ugh, I look terrible," I groan, looking myself up and down.

"You look fine, sweetie," my mum said soothingly, but I could tell that she thought I looked like a sack of potatoes. She looks me up and down, and so I do. My shoulders are so big others would think I am wearing shoulder pads, and the hem on my dress passes my knees, making me look like I belong in the early 80's. My mousy brown hair is tied tightly into a neat ponytail, with a short fringe hanging in front of my right eye. My mum brushes it out of my eye and tucks it behind my ear. I huff in annoyance. I can't believe she thinks I look fine. "Oh, just get ready, your running out of time," she says as she gestures to her wrist watch. She walks down the hall, and I roll my eyes. This is going to the worst day ever.

Breakfast was a piece of toast with honey, but I didn't finish, I felt sick to the stomach. Once I convince my dad that I am 'full', I go to my bedroom and lay on my bed. My head is spinning and my heart feels like its going to burst out of my chest. My breath becomes ragged as I think of all the possibilities. I list them off on my fingers: no friends, bad teachers, bullies, humiliation and finally, me looking absolutely HORRIBLE! If only I had one friend. Just one. I glance at the clock, and it reads 8:00am. Oh no, only 15 minutes to go I think with dread. Tears prick the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back. I would not cry over school. I stand up groggily and head back out to the kitchen. I sit on the plush, cream couch and sigh. My sister sits beside me, not showing an ounce of nervousness. I envy her, with her tanned skin and blonde hair. She always looks so calm and relaxed, something that takes a long time to achieve for me. She is playing her iPad, probably texting one of her friends where we used to live. "Are you even nervous?" I ask her. She looks up and shakes her head, her chocolate brown eyes showing no signs of dread. I just look down at my book, and try to loose myself in the words on the page.

My dad gets my sisters ready on their bikes, adjusting their helmet straps. I just load my bag into the back of his car, my face in a permanent frown. Charlotte and Lucy (my sisters) both look so excited that it makes me feel sick. I can almost feel my face go green with envy. Ugh, how can they be happy? The thought seemed impossible. "Alright, you two take off and we will meet you at school," my dad says, and my two sisters take off. I reluctantly climb into the passenger seat, and clench my stomach. I am trying to reassure myself, telling myself that it will be fine. My dad starts up the car, and we are leaving. Oh no oh no oh no.