Chicken Cult

Issue # 4 - oxyMORONS

From a crack in the ground along an old gritty road, came two girls. They weren't ordinary girls. Why? Well firstly becasue they just emerged from a man hole that connected to, not a sewer, but an underground base for urine vampires. Also one was a vampire and the other a fucking zombie, so no, they weren't exactly of the norm.

"The night is still fresh," Trinity yawned as she stretched her arms, "Think we have time to track down Peeter? They couldn't have gone far."

Astra glanced down at her phone, "Dude, it's 4:20am."

"Already?!" Trin flopped on the ground, "How long were we in there?! Damn it Peeter why is he so tedious. Well we have like two hours until sunrise then we can just sleep and play Mortal Kombat all day and then-"

"Trin, it's Monday. We have school today."

"FARK seriously?! I HAVE AN ENGLISH PRESENTATION DUE AND I HAVEN'T STARTEDDDDDDDDD," The zombie wailed as she began dashing down the street.

"Trinity! Waiiittt forrr meeeeeeeee!" Astra screeched as she wearily began running after her friend.

After a tiring five minutes of running, the vampire finally caught up to her friend who was impatiently waiting around corner infront of a shifty allewway.

"Astra run. I've seen you run I know you're faster than someone with broken kneecaps. I'm a zombie for fracks sake and I'm faster than you."

"Yeah you probably shouldn't run. You might lose a leg or something," Astra retorted, taking a breather. "I havent slept since Friday and frankly I'm tired of all this crap. It takes an hour to walk to the nearest train station and the next train comes at like 6am so after a half an hour train ride we'll only have an hour to get our crap together and go to school."

"Pretty busy schedule," a voice called from the darkness of the alleyway, "Maybe you need a little something something to keep you going?"

A shirtless guy in his late teens emerged from the alleyway. His dark hair was slicked back and perfect abbs lined his bare abdomen.

"Is he offering us drugs?" Trin murmured as the guy strolled up to them.

He flicked his hair before looking down with his bright blue eyes at Trin, who choked on her spit as she saw him in the light.

"abbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbsabbs," Trin repeated like a dazed mantra.

"Astra, is that you?" He said, as Astra awkwardly stared at the floor.

"Astra why do so many random guys know you?!" Trin said as the drool stained her shirt.

"I don't know this guy though..." Astra mumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Well...when we knew eachother I was a little different. Name's Phen. Like fen but with more 'v'"

"Oh you have plenty of v," Trin snickered under her breath.

"Phen...Phen...Phen, nope don't know a Phen," Astra glanced at her phone, counting the minutes until the train came.

He placed a hand over his face in embarrassment, "You might remember it is Stephen."

Astra's mind lit up like a christmas tree, "STEPHEN?!"

"AH so you do know this guy?" Trin questioned, eyeing his lower abdomen.

"Yes...it was a long time ago..."

*flashback mode*

"It was in the fouth grade. I was going through a rough time. Stephen was, very different. I remember him being kinda plump, with ruddy cheeks and crooked glasses. He was pretty filthy actually. It was a time where I, the little 'ten year old' had this really fugly fringe and a need to feed... a lot. Stephen used to come to school everyday with five juice boxes. You know me, I couldn't stay away. I became his friend. We played together, we were best friends up until the seventh grade. Thats when the hormones started kicking in I guess. He started acting really clingy. When I talked to other guys he'd get really jealous. He kept asking me to go out without our other friends. That's when I realised something was up. That's when he finally came out and said he liked me. I, being as insecure and lazy to these types of situations, freaked and left. I stole his lifetime's worth of juice and I moved states the next day."