A Heart of Gold {Completed✔}

Chapter 36

Aspen's POV

I sighed, rubbing Lindsay's belly as I felt Connor's hard stare on my back. Turning towards him slowly, I bit my lip. His eyes darkened and he growled. "Stop that." I looked at him, startled. "S-stop what?" I stuttered. He marched across the room and breathed on my ear, "Biting your lip. Otherwise I might have to do something about that." I gasped and saddened. "Sorry!" I whirled back to Lindsay and winced. Connor dipped his head, concerned. "You ok?" I smiled and shrugged off the pain. "Yeah..still a little sore from labor." He nodded his head, comprehending. I rolled my lips together and sat on the bed, "Why didn't you tell me about Olivia? I was your best friend." Connor sighed, "I liked you. And I was dating Olivia. I wanted you both." The pain I thought I had buried rolled over in waves as I thought about Logan and unchecked tears slipped down my cheeks. "I'm sorry." Connor hung his head and I shook mine, laughing softly. Looking at him, I gave a faint smile. "I miss him." Connor sighed, nodding. "I know you do. I wish there was more I could do than bring up painful memories." I wiped away my tears, sniffing. "Oh Connor, you don't bring up painful memories..I'm so scared..I'll forget him. How he felt, how he smelt..how he tasted." I choked and stuffed my fist over my mouth. "I just want him here with me. It seemed like too much to ask yet I loved him. He made Lindsay and I so happy..he was there through everything. And he didn't even get to see her." I placed my head in my hands and let the sobs shake my shoulders. Connor sank on the bed next to me and pulled me in his arms. "I'm sorry, I wish I could have been there or bring him back...but I can't." I nodded in his chest and sobbed harder. I sniffed wiped my eyes. Connor wrinkled his nose and passed me a Kleenex, "Use this." I laughed and blew my nose. I pulled away from his hug and he stood. I lay on the bed, exhausted and spent from my tears. Connor sauntered over to Lindsay then turned to me. "What do you want to eat?" I sat up and ran a finger over my lips. Sighing, I shook my head. "Nothing really."

"Come on Aspen. Lindsay needs your milk, you need to eat." I sigh and shrug, "Italian." Connor smiled and nodded, "Be back before you know it." He shut the door quietly and I laid back down, tears falling again.

Flashback...

I breathed deeply as I lay in between Logan's legs, as he stroked my huge belly. I laughed as the baby kicked. "I can't believe it's finally time for the baby reveal." Logan chuckled and leaned down, "Are you daddy's princess or daddy's little man?" The baby kicked and I sighed, "More like mommy's way to look like a whale." I glanced down at my maternity sundress and stared at my slightly puffy ankles. Logan scoffed, "You could never look like a whale." He tilted my chin up and I kissed him, "You're too beautiful and sexy." Blushing, I kissed him again. Mom knocked on my door and opened it. "Everyone is waiting for you..oh Darling you look radiant. So beautiful." She wiped away a tear and Logan helped me up. I kissed her cheek, "Don't cry.. or I'll cry and waste all Ivy's hard work on my makeup." Mom sniffed and laughed, "Right! Of course." I glanced back at Logan and reached out my hand. He took it and smiled down at me. "I love you." I whispered and he kissed me slowly. "I love you more baby." We started down the stairs, to finally have our gender reveal.

End of flashback...

Tears clouded my vision and I sniffed. Why did he have to die? Why did he have to leave me alone and so very confused? I miss him so much. I just want to see him again..have his arms wrap around me..his lips caress mine. I wiped my eyes and sighed, closing my eyes. Hoping to forget and fall into a numb, dream-less, memory-less sleep. Lindsay coughed and I shot up, rushing to her cradle. She sneezed and I smiled. I ran a finger over my baby's precious cheek. A knock sounded on the door and I tip toed over. Linda and Crystal stood at the door. Smiling broadly, I threw open the door. "Crystal!" She jumped into my arms and I chuckled. "I missed you.." She whispered. Tears filled my eyes as I realized how much she was like Logan. Sniffing, I hugged her tighter. "I missed you too sweetie." Placing her on the ground, I watched her scramble to Lindsay's cradle. Hugging myself, I smiled at Linda. "Hi Linda..." She pulled me in her arms. We didn't need words, our pain spoke for us. We sniffed and Crystal gasped. "Aspen! She's waking up." I led Linda over who smiled down at Lindsay. I picked her up before her fussing turned into angry wails. I quickly undid my bra and pulled away my shirt. She latched on quickly and Crystal watching, filled with at. Linda smiled, tears darkening her lashes. "Logan latched on quickly too..she must get it from her daddy." She whispered, choked up. I looked up shocked and sniffed, "I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything...I'm so sorry Linda." Linda sat beside me and sighed. "Oh honey..It isn't your fault. My husband should've told me." She wiped away a tear and gave Lindsay a broad smile. "She's so beautiful.. just simply stunning." I laughed softly and stared at my daughter. She wore her pink onesie and some pink gloves. She waved a fist and I took it gently. "She is definitely a cutie...cutest baby I've ever seen." Linda chuckled and patted my shoulder, "Darling she's perfect.. so so perfect." I looked into Linda's pale blue eyes and then into Lindsay's bright blue ones. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of Logan's eyes. "She is." I whispered.

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Awww y'all...I miss Logan so much😢 but don't worry! A new guy is coming soon!!!😄 Keep reading, commenting and voting my lovelies!💗

xoxo writing_princess16