Just a Really Bad Night

I'm Sorry

James came back into the room, a grim look on his face when he took in the scene before him.

"Clark, I just finished talking to everyone. They're sad of course, but they've come to terms with Katie. Now you need to, too." 

James told him, picking up the handgun he had given Clark that had ended up on the floor at some point. Clark scowled, holding Katie protectively.

"What do you mean 'come to terms'?" 

He asked, fear lacing his words since he already had a good idea of what he meant.

"Clark, look at her! She's practically dead already!" 

James shouted, pointing an accusatory finger in Katie's direction. The girl didn't even flinch, her crying dissipating and her eyes faraway and unfocused. 

"You have to put a stop to this before it's too late. Or let me put a stop to it, at least. That isn't Katie anymore, it's a zombie, and you need to treat it like one!"

"Don't call her an it! She's still Katie!" 

Clark snapped at him, turning his body so Katie was protected better. James growled, getting frustrated. He tried to keep his cool, taking a deep breath.

"If you think I want to kill her, you're a fucking moron. But it has to be done or else only worse things will come of it. Please Clark, don't make this harder than it has to be." 

He said more gently, catching Clark's attention finally. He looked up at James miserably, his eyes full of tears.

"I don't know what I'll do without her, James. I don't want to let her go, there's still a chance of a cure, we-"

"By the time a cure is made she'll be way too far gone and we both know it. It's too dangerous, we have no idea when it could even be invented. It could be discovered in a week, or it could be 10 years. Think rationally, Clark..." 

James sighed, hating the reality just as much as everyone else. Clark took a shaky breath, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. He seemed resigned when he silently made the decision, gently laying Katie down on the floor and standing up, his arms already feeling empty without his best friend in them. Katie blinked, her eyes a little more focused and a lot more confused as she looked up at Clark.

"C-Clark...?" 

She croaked, and Clark only shook his head in reply, starting to back away from her. He turned around when he got to James's side, his back to Katie.

"I'm so sorry, Clark. Please don't hate me or anything?" 

James asked him, frowning. Clark shrugged, his face unreadable.

"It's what you have to do. And I wouldn't have been able to do it, so you're a hero I guess." 

He mumbled, flinching when Katie started to cry out.

"Clark! Come back, please! I need you Clark, don't leave! Please don't leave me, please, you said I'd be okay, you promised!" 

She sobbed. If she had the strength she would have run to Clark by now, but Katie couldn't feel the lower half of her body at all, leaving her unable to move. James had to avert his eyes as he raised the gun, pointing it at Katie's head. This only set her off more, crying and screaming in desperation.

"Clark, please! Help me, help, he's going to kill me Clark! Clark...! CLARK!"

Katie was struggling to breathe with how hard she was crying and it was evident in her voice. Clark felt hot tears down his own face, shakily bringing his hands up to his ears to cover them, unable to take much more of Katie's begging. James was hesitating as well, his gun pointed at Katie, but his eyes on the floor.

"I'm sorry Katie, it's for the best. I'll see you in another life or something, okay?" 

He said softly, his words almost drowned out by Katie's pleas for mercy. James shut his eyes tight as he pulled the trigger, both him and Clark giving a slight jump at the loud bang. Clark kept his hands over his ears, but he still heard the dull thump behind him, the sound of Katie's body hitting the floor. The house felt too quiet now, and while he was glad he didn't have to hear Katie scream for him anymore, it set in that he's never going to hear Katie's voice again, and the realization made his heart squeeze painfully. He slowly lowered his hands, letting them fall limply to his sides. He vaguely registered the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, nudging him forward.

"Come on, Clark. We should really be getting back to bed. Kurt and I can deal with the cleanup in the morning." 

He muttered, leading Clark back to the room with and steady hand on his shoulder all the way. When Clark stepped back into the sleeping room, he heard crying, and voices talking to him. None of it processed, everything just sounding like white noise to him. He laid down in his sleeping bag silently, curling up in the fetal position. He finally let himself cry properly, the reality of the situation beginning to set in that his best friend was gone.

He cried softly to himself, Katie's agonized screams still ringing in his ears. The way she had cried out for him would haunt him for years to come, Clark felt like a failure for not trying harder to save his best friend. Clark let her die. He left her to scream and cry and hurt all on her own, literally turned his back on her in her time of need. Clark could have at least held her hand to the end or something, but instead he just blocked it out.

He cried harder, staining the pillow under his head with tears. He felt a hand on his back, trying to comfort him, but he paid it no mind. He didn't bother to figure out who was touching him, not caring enough to put a face to the voice speaking to him. Instead, Clark only nestled his face further into his pillow, crying himself to sleep after a while.