Stuff I Write

Hate Vs. Love

Hate is so strong. So is love. But people don't like being hated. So tell me, why? When we pick ourselves apart on a daily basis. When we cry and cry and pray to a nonexistent God, hoping things will look up. We feel it every day. Well, some of us. But not love. Many people don't get to feel it, really ever. But we are all friends with hate. Hate is the friend that we only stick with because we're nothing without them. Hate is the friend that makes you feel terrible about yourself, but hey. Who else do you have? So you let hate in. You let it hurt you and abuse you. Because not all relationships are perfect, right? Well you could say that. But no one has the upper end. The better excuse. We're all guilty, some of us just don't realize. I'm sure some people can read this and understand what it feels like to hate yourself. You can't see the good things you withhold. Only the bad. So you feed off of it, your mind tells you it's rational. And we settle just there. Right in that happy medium. Well, it isn't happy. But where else can you go? Your self image is created by you, yes. But maybe some people can't see the good. Maybe others see it and you think they're liars. You tell them they're delusional, and they say the same to you. But in life, you'll also meet people who do agree with you. Who truly do, yes, hate you. And for some reason, we wonder. Why? Why do people hate me? Just as we look in the mirror and understand why we hate ourselves. I struggle with this. I am guilty. I do have many moments where I degrade myself, and I often do disapprove of who I am. But, hey wait. It's normal to hate yourself, but when others see what you see, you are confused? Humans are pitiful. We are all hypocrites. The art of contradiction. I mean, how many times can I word this? Hate is your best friend. So is love. But you go to hate when love fails, and hate fills you up. You trash love, when love is just trying to be a true friend. But no. You abandoned it and now you think hate will get you somewhere. So here you sit. You're being completely morphed by your new, and only best friend. This is why many can't accept love. Simply because they stuck with hate for so long that they don't know how to be friends with love. It's your choice to either start over, or stay with hate. I feel as if I made the second choice. I let myself down, I let others down, others let me down. And now I'm stuck. So much for this paragraph, huh? I try to type and write all of these words so people look up to what I have to say. To make it look like I'm content. But I'm just going fucking insane. I have no right to sit here and judge and pick at people, as they have no right to do it to me. But guess what? I still do, and others continue to as well. Until I find where my purpose lies, and what words I speak are of true meaning, I'll continue to be the confused girl who writes shit like this when her mind can't handle keeping all of it's thoughts unspoken. I'm not sure if this did anything at all, but if you made it to the end of this, congrats. Life still sucks, we're all still hypocrites. We are still searching for purpose, and yes. We are all still best friends with hate.