i H A T E to L O V E you~~ryden :)

chapter one- i hate you brendon urie

school hasn't even started and right when i walk in i hit the ground face first. i can already feel blood coming out of my nose and forehead. "fag" brendon yelled after he pushed my down. it's pretty pathetic i can't stand up to someone a whole year younger than me.

  brendon is kneeling on my back so i can't get up, i can feel his bones against my spine which is actually quite painful. he had a group of people with him but they walked off. strange. usually they jump in on the fight? whatever. i think he notices all the blood on the floor because he got up and reached in his backpack and pulled out napkins. "what the hell are you.." i started to talk but he responded with "shut up and take them." he shoved them in my hands and started walking away with his head down.

  "god your such a babe" i muttered under my breath. he must of heard me because he stopped dead in his tracks then turned around and started walking back towards me. oh shit, i thought to myself. we were the only ones in the hallway. he grabbed my throat and held me against the lockers. "what did you say fucking fag?" brendon said in my face while my arms and legs were flailing around. his lips look soft. shut up ryan. "i said i hate you brendon urie" i spat back at him. "right back at you loser." he replied then took his grip away and then walked off. once again i'm late to 1st hour.

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   i have one class with brendon and i see him at lunch. at first i thought they were a good chance to become friends with brendon again, but that did n o t happen. i would do anything to be as close as i was with him two years ago, but things change. that's a story for another time, i don't want to think about that now. i walk into my first hour class and everyone stares at me. the teacher turns to me with a disappointing look and tells me to take my seat. my head was still throbbing so i put it on my desk and let sleep take over.

  The bell rang, i gathered my things and made my way to second hour. second through fourth hour went by slow, maybe because i was hungry. i was walking to lunch and saw brendon in the hall making out with the head cheerleader. gross. i've liked brendon since my 7th grade year so it kind of hurts seeing him with others, but what can i do? nothing ryan..nothing. as i passed him i purposely coughed and that pissed him off. "what was that gay boy?" brendon said with an aggressive tone in his voice. uh oh. i took off running towards the courtyard. i could hear brendon yelling behind me but i couldn't make out what he was saying. i finally just stop and turn around and wait for him to get to me. i sat down to show him i was ready and he kneed me in the face then bent down and whispered in my ear "you're just jealous ross". "i don't even like you brendon" i said back but i'm 99% sure both of us knew that was definitely a lie. and with that i got up with a new bruise forming on my cheek and walked back to the cafeteria. i lost my appetite after my encounter with brendon so i waited for the bell then went to fifth hour.

  Fifth and sixth hour were the same as all my other classes, boring and unnecessary. but i guess if i want to do something with myself rather than be some hippie in a van, i'll need an education. i made my way to seventh hour, which i had with brendon, and with just my luck one of brendons friends named gerard decided he needs to stop me before i make it there. "hey gay boy!" he yelled in my direction. i stopped dead in my tracks when i saw brendon standing right in front of me. of course. i turned around to see gerard with a huge smirk on his face, then back at brendon. i felt someone grab my hair and start pulling it. after a few seconds i realized it was gerard. him, brendon, and i were heading to the mens bathroom for an infamous gerard way swirly. the process went dunk, pull back up gasp for air, repeat. they dunked me 3 times but on the last one i accidentally got some in my mouth and took the chance to spit it in gerards face. brendon gasped and i started sprinting away and out of the school. i heard footsteps and screaming from both boys behind me, but i only had four things on my mind... running, not tripping, not dying of asthma, and how i'm going to get my house key out of my bag while running.

  i honestly didn't care about ditching that last hour anyway, school is not my main priority in this very second. i'm pretty sure brendon is the only one still chasing me. i found out a while ago gerard is not much of a runner. i look behind me and sure as hell brendon is the only one there but he is way closer than i thought. i started to speed up i mean i'm only a block away from my house so i should be oka- then it hit me. my asthma kicked in and hit me like a bus. i start wheezing and trying to focus on running but unfortunately that didn't last long until i fell and hit my head. i hit my head h a r d may i add. i feel blood trickling out of my forehead and into a small pool on the gravel road i'm laying on. i hear faint foot steps that seem to be getting closer by the second. sure enough i can feel brendons presence there towering over me. i cant open my eyes to see what he's doing so i speak up. "hey b?" i croak. "don't call me that or even talk to me like that at all as a matter of fact." he spit back at me. i was listening for a hint of venom in his words but it just wasn't there and that confused me more than anything. "but whatever go on with what you were saying.." he adds. " i was just going to ask you to please don't hurt me any worse please, i'm in enough pain as it is right now.." i pause for a minute to catch my breath as i still am having trouble breathing. " i know that's not how this whole 'you kick my ass i deal with it' thing goes but i'm laying in a pool of blood and i can't breathe so just please brendon." i talked like i was begging for my life. " is that all you think of me?" brendon replied. " pretty much.." i faintly whispered. "fuck" he softly whispered with a hint of sadness in his voice. brendon reached in his backpack and pulled out an inhaler with 'RyRo' written on it. he still has it? why? its been y e a r s!? he extended his arm to hand me my old inhaler, but as i reached for it...everything went b l a c k.

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whats crackin blood??

first fic i've written. i don't have any pre-written chapters so you will have to wait for updates yes i'm sorry. anyway its 2019 and i'm still in this ryden loop. wh00ps!

word count:1260 (without all this authors note stuff)

killjoys make some noise

~gray