To all the boys I've ever loved (?)
Part II. To: P-Oh boys... I'm pretty sure my crush on you it's still a big fucking secret... Or a big fucking forgotten mess. Hopefully! Me liking you would be a HUGE mistake if people found out. I do regret not making a move on you, i'm pretty sure you're a great ass boyfriend... I know it, i've seen it, so yeah i regret it a lot, i would've missed out on a lot of heartbreaks if i was with you. Or you would have rejected me and ruin everything, part of the reason i never told you anything, i wanted to keep the friendship.
I still think about you, you were so mean and cold yo everyone else but so swret to me, which led to me liking you a lot... A whole fucking lot. I was so scared people would find out.
Out 6am talks on Skype... Till we agreed to go to sleep. Our confession nights. I found you so fucking cute :(
But then i backed out for someone else, for you, for her. She had a bigger chance with you, someone else knew, someone else was trying to help her set you both up. It sucks. I was so dumb and i was truly trying to keep the friendship. Only i knew that would be the start of a lot of jealousy.
I backed out, but i still liked you a lot, and then you got close to someone else and regret and jealousy filled my whole body. I remember my days so sad and blue, wishing i was her. What did she have that i don't? GUTS. Guts to make a move on you, not like me.
Took me a while to get over you... But only did i know, after this little big heartbreak, a lot of small heartbreaks would come that would cause me a lot of damage to my heart and self-esteem.
Maybe no one will ever truly like me.
Maybe i don't deserve love and to be happy.
YOU ARE READING
To all the boys I've ever loved
Roman d'amourIt was time to let all my emotions out towards boys who I've loved and my disgusting love life, so why not share it to stranges. Enjoy!