"All for you"

I broke my rules for You.
I spent so many thoughts,
so many questions,
so many emotions
and too much time just thinking of You.

And I still dream about this person, who's lost my memory, fabricated by my nostalgia and romanticized by my broken heart.

Now I miss You.
I've said it a million times to everyone, besides You.
I wanted to tell You:
I thought about You while my walks home.
I wanted to tell You,
how much time I only used thinking of You.
I just wanted You to know
I loved You,
just because it's such a heavy weight in my heart that I must let go.

I'm sorry I missed You,
I'm sorry I miss You.
But I'm not sorry to You.
I don't know who I'm sorry to, maybe myself...
Everything is getting tangled up in clouds of my feelings, which are becoming full and heavy. Until they unload in dark tears, which stain white of my shirt.

And I keep saying
"I am over You"
But yet I am still searching for questions which remind me of You.
I'm over You.
I really am.
But there isn't one day, that goes by without thinking of You.

It's not that I miss You.
Or still want You.
It's just at some point time, You were such a big part of my mind.

And I keep thinking how things would have been, if one thing never happened.
If one decision,one word,
one lie would be different... How could it be now?

It's really bad to love someone who could never love you. And so You didn't only destroy me.
You also destroyed words, places, songs and names.

Oh yes loud are my feelings, but confused is my soul.
Please fight for someone who loves you,
but never fight for someone loving you!

I know doesn't matter,
it wouldn't change a thing,
but for myself it matters
when You could only
stay away