What are you?

Welcome to My Life

Jo's P.O.V

The name's Josyline but I was nicknamed and dubbed Jo by my friends. Call me what you will (I don't really give a shit). Also note that this craptastic article is my life so don't judge.

"Josyline," my stepmom, Cathy said.

Yep I call her Cathy. So what, her name, Catherine, is too big of a word for a small minded person like her.

"Yes?" I called back.

"The bus is here," my guardian said ever so nicely.(Note the sarcasm) How I got stuck with her is still a mystery but since this is my last year with her I can bear it.

"Now get out!"

Gotta love that bitch.

Now you may be wondering where's the fatherly love, well then, first off why are you in my business. Secondly, the bitch killed him.

That's what you get dad.

I already warned his ass and he told me I would understand when I get older but I am pretty sure he wasn't talking about getting old enough so that I would understand why 'love' would put you six feet under.

Back to real life, I just got on the bus joined by my friend Lu-lu. Before you get to assumptions though, Lu-lu is a boy. His real name is Luke though but I call him Lu-lu because he's from England and everytime had to use the restroom in third grade, he would ask if he could use the loo. Add that to the fact he used the loo constantly in third grade he had to become Loo- squared. Which effectively taught us about indices in fifth grade.

"Hey Jo," he said breaking my concentration.

"Hello Lu-lu."

"I hate it when you call me that."

"But you deal with it because you love me."

"Surrreeee," he said sarcastically, " let's go with that."

"What have you been up to since your last masturbation."

"Just ate some cereal and showered with the Jolly Rancher godess, as expected the water was hard."

With that I burst out laughing. Not just because of the innuendo but....
Now that I think about it, the joke was mainly an innuendo. My friend is just so weird sometimes that I have to burst out laughing.

The bus ride went quick with jokes ranging from yesterday when Luke took a stick and accidentally butt raped a squirrel (by accident, my foot) to when I scraped my foot and though I got infected with Zika.

Getting off the bus, I waved goodbye to Lu-lu, who went searching for his girlfriend. Then I went on my own way and found some trouble in the form of....

Well if you guessed Willow the whore, then either you already read this book or you time travelled.

For those of you that got it wrong (it referring to Willow). Simplified summary. Dick=Willow Nice and Pussy= Naughty Willow. Yes, surely Willow is the nicest person in the world.

Since I have a muff though Willow doesn't like me. Coupled with other reasons I don't care to explain to you at the moment.

I hurriedly move to try to get out of her way. Not because I'm afraid of her (which I'm not), it's because I don't really like gambling with my nose on how rancid her scent of the day would be.

Wow, English class really teaches humans how to behave as snobby as...

Interrupting my train of thought. Queen Stinky Bitch deliberately walks in front of me. I am tempted to tell her to fuck off but she beats me to it (to a greeting, not the fuck off part).

"What's up, Jo?" she asks.

I don't answer cause I know she's trying to make a joke. Maybe something like, "What's up your 'pleasure hole' ".

"Unresponsive today, are we? I always knew you were dumber than a brick, so, this is no surprise, I hope that you keep on embracing what you are."

Look who is talking about dumb, the same person who in sixth grade thought that the sun was cold in the winter. I wanted to say this so badly, but as you have no doubt noticed, I have a substantial amount of patience with the ignoramus, that is Willow.

"No reply?" she asks sarcastically, " I thought so."

Then without further a due she walks away all the whilst waving her cheap blonde hair 'extensions' (weave) flapping in the air like the horse tail it used to be.

Well, might as well get to class. Before Stinky comes back, because this time if she did I would retort, probably ripping out her tail in the process.

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Did you ship Luke and Josyline? Mad at me for giving him a girlfriend?

*cheeky grin*
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Enjoy your Thursday as this will now be the day I update this book.

Hope you enjoyed this first chapter of the new and IMPROVED book. Give me your feedback (it would really help).

The writer of this book, Adri.