Rise in the sunset

Coming from work Lewis ran some numbers and his salary wasn't going to be enough to pay his inflated college debt, even with the scholarship he had, past months were coming down on him like a snowball too big to stop. But as he approached the subway around sunset, he grinned feeling a fading sunlight. Even when he's beyond tired at the end of a 12 hour study-work day.

The subway was full and Lewis was squashed to a door window and closed his eyes. In the dark he could see himself trapped in that metal box like canned sardine. The metro came to an abrupt stop and when he opened his eyes it was as if someone said "Let there be darkness"...the metro lights went out.–Oh no...– He thought in desperation as the panic started and people were suffocating and fainting the screams and noise turned that box into a blender. A window was broken, a door was opened through brute force so people could walk through the rails to the exit.

The city had gone dark so Lewis had to walk home. He was in the east of Caracas, scared but not much since there he could escape and daydream a little. While walking through the streets of Altamira and Chacao, he wondered if he could ever be able to move his family to tall elegant buildings like those.–If only I lived somewhere else– He thought.–Why did I ever dreamed I could graduate from a private college? Suddenly the Avila is made of concrete and I can't seem to see beyond it, my aunt, the only family support, won't be able to afford my debt, mom should be retired but has to be in a petty job where she can barely afford food for her and I. College announced it was going to increase every 15 days and aunt Carol told me she didn't had enough back then but for some reason the online college portal gave me a dated number, like it didn't increased for me. I knew something was up, mother warned me about not speaking up in the past...why didn't I talked in finances back then? Why did I tried to evade my problems just to avoid conflict? it's been 3 months now and it's still the same number why doesn't it change? A system that doesn't work? Nowadays that is to be expected in this country...it'll be okay Lewis, it has to be...the light still doesn't come why did I had to be born in this hell!?...–He thought.

The night set in and people turned to dark silhouettes.
–Wow... the sky looks amazing, Caracas skies never seize to amaze. I can't even remember the last time I saw so many stars in the sky and I've lived here 20 years. 2019 and a city is out of light, I guess this is the only chance I'll ever have of walking in a pitch black city... Look at all those stars, you there grandma? We haven't talked in a while, I know you must be in one of those stars. Must be quite a sight from up there right? I'm working on my promise grandma I'll make it for our family, you tell everybody up there. Hey mom didn't know why you gave me and my brother that third name "Yjair" but I found out he was a footballer of the Brazil's 74' world team, you must have looked up to him right?, that's why you gave it to me and my brother? So you could look up to us? If I were sitting on my roof with a cigarette...yeah that's not happening ever again Lewis, now come on baby boy no time for that, we're not home yet–.

–Ok Libertador Avenue,I must have walked roughly about 12k now, well straight 20 more kilometers i think and I'll be near downtown then another 16k and I'll be home–He stopped grabbed his legs and said –come on girls lets go, no stopping now– About to cross to the west his heart knew the daydreaming ended that second. Anything could've happened to him in the east but chances got a whole lot higher westside. Looking over his shoulder,questioning every silhouette around him. With a straight face but crumbling with fear inside, that was every night in Caracas streets.
He was about 1 km from Diego Ibarra's Plaza after 32 km,he followed the people that,like him,were walking home but to the distance a howl of bike engines approached,people vanished in thin air, Lewis knew the colectivos were coming and not to guide people home.

So he ran, and ended up in a dark alley near the plaza, his legs felt like tearing apart. As he walked a shadow looked at him, he walked faster and saw another shadow a block ahead. It was an ambush, he knew he was in the hyenas trap without having to look directly at them, he knew they were creeping closer, he could almost sense their breath behind his ear. He saw stairs leading to the plaza. His organs tighten, his entire body felt loose, he knew it was fight or flight. So he ran before they could catch up, he saw a fire 3 blocks ahead, so he ran towards it. Halfway there he couldn't breath right and his legs couldn't push him any faster, the presence of people gathered in the O'Learys plaza drove the thieves away and when Lewis looked back as he fell to the ground, and they had disappeared. People were gathered there looking for signal in the dark, nobody really saw him. He stopped approached a plaza's bench and sat down. From there home the slow walk was calm as he passed Miraflores crawling with guards and a lot of people in the main avenue heading home too. Motorized bands showed around, but around there he knew nothing was going to happen.

Once home he told his mother nothing at all–I'm fine– he said and showered with cold freezing water from a bucket and collapsed in bed. He couldn't walk straight the next morning. Caracas spent more than 92 hours in a total blackout, when things started to get back to normal Lewis knew he had to confront his debt and tell everything to his aunt and mother. That morning reality came knocking at 5am. the house turtle had died. The news were rough, but Lewis and his mom still had a long day ahead and no time to mourn yet.

In the college register Lewis pulled his phone out of his pocket and the screen was broken–Again? Marvelous–He thought, his legs still hurt. He was given a 7 digit number of 2 months the scholarship didn't cover. Alternatively, his mother was having another heavy argument at work. That 7 digit monster crushed his very soul and it was about to rise the next day. His face wasn't the same anymore. He asked for the day off at work and went home walking with a body that felt like an empty shell of meat. His mother argued with her boss and almost lost her job, they worked things out but the environment was to hostile she was too startled so he gave her the day afraid she might collapse due to her age. In the bus Lewis thought that all those days telling his aunt that things were going to be ok weren't worth it, he thought luck would be with him, the days of being a boy came to an end. Once he was home all he could do was wait for his aunt to come home. Lewis would keep a cigarette hidden and everytime he would arrive from a rough day he would think about smoking but wouldn't do so because he thought that resisting temptation was going to make him stronger.

House was alone and without hesitation, naked near his bedroom window, he played LoFi-hip hop and lit up the cigarette. No coughing, no inhaling through his nose, he was no beginner and life was a little harder than every other day that day.

–Forgive me grandma... Mom taught me life isn't about the promises we make, it's about the promises we accomplish... I'm so sorry grandma. I promised I'd be the one to bring the family out of this forsaken Catia's neighborhood, hell I just want to get out of it myself. I can't keep going anymore I can't wake up at 5am every morning, I can't take more sleepless nights, transport is a killer, my friends are gone, what else can this country take from me huh?... I promised I wouldn't smoke again 5 years ago and yet, here I am again– That day smoking felt almost as the first time when he had 13. But that day was different. As smoke flew out the window he felt his soul changing at the rhythm of the tobacco burning. He felt every beat of the music,his feet were cold and shaking, suddenly the house door sounds closing. Mother was home, he didn't noticed the door and mother smelled the tobacco–This can't be him–she saw him and yelled in tears –Lewis!– he turned slowly and she couldn't recognize who was in front of her.–I'm sorry mom–the cigarette started to burn his fingers so he threw it away.

–Come back to me kiddo– She said while hugging him.
–This is the amount I owe mom, I cant... I– She interrupted –You look at me in the eye now,this is what happens when you leave everything to the last minute you have to keep moving forward! your aunt knows, we all know your college is expensive, don't worry because one day you will tell her "here aunt, thanks for everything" the worst thing would be for you to stay home sleeping all day. Now get dressed and man the fuck up, take a shower and you talk to your aunt when she arrives–
His mom scolded harder about an hour later though, so did his aunt. His aunt said–Lewis you should've told me! So I wouldn't have spent the money already, you can't be so quiet about important stuff like this!– Lewis couldn't raise his head–I'll try to find the money but you have to find a way to stop it from rising.

That night Lewis alone in his bedroom cried like a baby recently born, but somehow he felt whole again, his walls came down and suddenly that mountain wall was not a fence it was a challenge. –Remember you do this for a better future Lewis...Grandma, I'll make it for those before me and those to come, I can take it because mother didn't raise a quitter, brother shoes are still too big but his shirts fit just right, this city will kill me again but I'll be reborn every time,you gonna have to try harder to bring me down Caracas. I'll rise, we will rise, it'll be fine grandma... I'm a Yjair after all–He thought looking at the stars from his window.

Lewis was sitting in the office of the finances chief, he had requested a special permit to freeze the debt through an inform form the scholarship department, finances responded asking for a meeting with him before making a decision. So there he was nervous,anxious cold and shaking. Once he sat down in front of the chief who asked "Why should we freeze it?" He closed his eyes and he could feel his grandmother grabbing his shoulder and he knew everyone was there with him, so he looked at the sunset through the window and felt a fading sunlight, he looked back at the chief and grinned.