Malec Oneshots

Let's compare, shall we?

Summary(By Airuna):

While he is having a beer in the Hunter's Moon Jace overhears a comment against Alec. He is not pleased.

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Jace was scowling, nursing a beer by the bar and receiving nasty glares from Maia who apparently thought that it was his fault that a group of three new recruits had decided to hang out on one of the booth of the corner. And yes, they were loud and obnoxious and okay, maybe they had asked him which was the best pub around but really, Maia should be grateful he was getting her clients instead of looking like she was fantasizing about beating him to death. Again.

Though to be fair, the new Shadowhunters were pretty annoying. New arrivals from Idris, what could you expect? Maia would set them straight before the night was over. Not that that was the reason Jace had recommended them the Hunter’s Moon of course.

He drowned his glass, turning towards the bartender to share with her what he thought of her actitud but froze when he heard it.

“But really, who thought that making Lightwood the Head of the Institute was a good idea?” Jace saw Maia tense which really, just because he had participated in one or two fights in this bar didn’t mean he was about to start trashing the place. “What if he orders me to fuck him? I’m actually scared here, guys.”

The other rats laughed at that and Jace counted to ten, reminding himself that, as satisfying as violence would probably be, it wouldn’t do Alec any favors. And he had already caused enough problems for his parabatai this past year.

Maia was still looking at him apprehensively but when he started walking towards the scum, a phony smile firmly plasted on his face, she made no move to stop him. The silence that fell when he let himself drop into the bank, side by side with the bastard, was extremely gratifying. As was their looks of mild terror.

“Well, we don’t want you to be afraid, do we?” Jace asked nicely enough that the man squirmmed. “Let me put your mind at rest.”

“Look man, it was just a joke,” the guy tried. “Really, just…”

“No, no, no.” Jace stopped him, raising a hand. “You have concerns about my parabatai and I’m here to help.” The man gulped but nodded his head. The other shadowhunters were quiet and as still as they could, maybe hoping that Jace would pay them no mind. Fat chance, he had already memorized their faces. But they could wait. “Now about your concern about catching Alec’s eye. Why don’t we compare you to his boyfriend to see if you are his type?” At the bar, Maia snorted and resumed cleaning some glasses, reassured that her precious bar would be kept intact. “Let’s see, what would you say your biggest accomplishment in life has been? Come on, don’t be shy.”

“Uhmm…” the man looked around, hoping one of his friends would give him an out but they all averted their gazes. “Getting this job, sir,” he finally answered clearly trying to buttle Jace up to avoid being reported.

“So at twenty-four you have managed to get a field job that Alec, Izzy and I have had since we were sixteen, then?”

“I’m actually twenty-six,” corrected the guy through gritted teeth.

“Oh,” said Jace as disdainly as he could. “Okay. Now I don’t know what Magnus’ biggest accomplishment has been but we could go with getting the position of High Warlock of Brooklyn. Or with the invention of the portal. Or closing a rift between this world and Edom. Maybe creating a magic barrier all around New York to prevent shadowhunters and only shadowhunters from leaving? I don’t know, it could be any of them. That’s what happens when you’ve got centuries of wisdom and are more powerful than almost anyone else in the world, you get too many things done.” Jace sighed. “But hey, maybe Alec doesn’t care about all that. I mean who would find drive and success attractive, right? A lot of smart people don’t have ambition. Have you written any book? How many languages do you speak?”

The man was glaring at him under the worlds’ most embarrassed blush but he was still too scared to avoid answering. “I speak two languages.”

“And no books, eh?” Jace caught. “Well I mean, Magnus’ has had a lot of time, it’s no wonder he has basically filled a library with his own works. I can’t tell you how many languages he speaks though, because according to Alec, he lost count somewhere around the 16th century.” Jace shrugged sharing a smirk with Maia who seemed to be enjoying the show. “So okay, you are not smart, or driven, or have done anything but waste your live for twenty six years. But maybe Alec is shallow, maybe he only cares about looks. Tell me, do you think you are more attractive than Magnus Bane?” He raised an eyebrow, looked the man up and down with scorn and waited patiently for his answer.

The shadowhunter was fuming and most of his friends looked half amused, half horrified but still his pride was at stake, so he had to give Jace an answer. “From what I’ve heard, Bane is a lothario who has slept with thousands of people and spends fortunes on his appearance so I suppose I’m not.”

“Magnus is not a lothario,” said Jace trying for pleasant but unable to keep the edge out of his voice. The guy preened at that, glad to have been able to return a blow. “He’s had his fun of course, and there are no shortage of willing people when you look like that but he is loyal. Which considering that you were just badmouthing your boss, it’s not something that can be said for you. So now that we have established that Magnus is better than you in every single aspect...”

“He is a Downworlder,” spat the man, who seemed to have reached his boiling point.

“He is the High Warlock of Brooklyn,” corrected Jace. “Which means that he outranks you, me and everyone else in this bar.” The recruits looked around at that, realizing that almost everyone was looking at them, hearing Jace humiliate their friend with gleeful smiles. “But back to what matters, I hope you are comforted on the knowledge that you are so beneath Alec that he probably doesn’t even know you exist. I mean, both he and Magnus are so far out of your league that it’s ridiculous to even think either would want anything to do with you. Just because they are into guys, doesn’t mean they don’t have standards, so you have nothing to worry about.”

He palmed, a bit more forcefully than necessary sue him, the guy’s back before walking towards Maia. Everyone was still looking at him and Jace smiled. Between the Downworlders and the Shadowhunters, news of what had happened would soon spread. It was funny really, that their disdain of Downworlders made this that much more shameful. After all, they thought that Downworlders were inferior beings but really, who could ever compare to Magnus Bane?