Slipping Under

Chapter Six

I couldn't even think about drinking again after what Andrew had told me. I had other things to focus on, things like that damn kiss. It'd been a few weeks since the party, since our talk, since the kiss, and still, I couldn't stop thinking about it. We'd been tiptoeing around the conversation for days now, and I couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"We kissed."

Idiot.

I watch as he freezes, he lowers his fork and his chewing stops, he reaches for a cup, taking a sip before he speaks.

"Oh, yeah, you... you remember that?" He wipes his mouth, another attempt to deflect from the conversation at hand.

"I do."

"Do you want a refill?" Andrew stands, reaching for my cup.

"Andrew."

"Right, right," he stares at my burrito intently, and I clear my throat, "right."

"Did you mean it? Or was it just because you felt bad because if it was because you felt bad I don't want you to think that you have to do things like that."

"I did mean it, I wouldn't kiss you just because." I can feel myself smiling, blushing even, something that rarely happened but it was Andrew.

"Really?"

"I mean, yeah... And hey, I've been wanting to talk to you about it, but there just wasn't a good time, I wanted to focus my attention on you, and you know..." He's rambling and he's nervous, I feel bad.

"I get it," I smile, an attempt to ease his nerves, "I get it, Andrew." He lets out a breath as he nods his head, going in for another bite.

"Can we talk about this in private?" He looks around the restaurant and even though it was empty, I nod my head yes.

"Sure." I go back to my burrito and we finish eating in silence.

**

It'd only been a couple of minutes since we'd gotten home, but the suspense was killing me, I couldn't wait much longer to hear what Andrew had to say about what happened the other night.

"So," and before I can even speak, he starts.

"I wasn't thinking." Wincing at his own words, he back peddles, "I mean, I was thinking, I was thinking that I wanted to kiss you. You were drunk, and it was wrong, I shouldn't have done that to you, and I'm sorry." My eyes widen, and I'm surprised that this was his answer,

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't want you to think that I was trying to take advantage of you or anything, you were sad and vulnerable and I shouldn't have done it."

"I didn't mind."

"Well, I know that now."

"So, do you like me? Or what because I'm confused."

"Of course, I like you." I shake my head, not sure that Andrew quite got what I meant,

"No, no, I know you like me, I mean, we're best friends and all, but do you... like me like me?"

"I mean, yeah, I think so..."

"Since when?"

"Since I don't know, Garrett. I just, you make me feel things that no one ever has, and it scared me at first, but not anymore. I just," He stops, his eyes settling on mine, "I just want to be with you. You make me so happy in ways that I didn't think were possible, okay?"

I'm happy at first, but then my body is filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. I couldn't be with Andrew, not now at least, not after hearing his story of his dad, I knew I'd only hurt him, and I couldn't do that.