My Sister's Feeling

God Helped Me

A/N: Sa tingin ko hindi pa to natapos eh, hahaha pero I will ask her nalang to finish it.

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“Believe that whatever it is happening in your life right now, God leads you there for a good purpose”.

This in an old saying that I mostly forget,  especially on those days that I can hardly pick myself up from a very bad fall. I don’t know if its because of the lack of trust to the Mighty One or if it is due to the blindness that the pain causes  me.

It’s been 3 months now when my very precious ‘someone’ and I broke up. Days had never been so easy and  I can’t see any sense about this life since he left.  He is the first thing that comes into my mind as soon as I open my eyes in the morning and the last before I go to sleep. Everyday seems to be so weary,  so blue. Almost everything that I do reminds me of him and all the memories that we shared together makes me miss him more.  I keep on longing for his presence and hoping that he might crawl back to me though I know in myself that nothing would ever change even if he comes back. It was very hard to keep myself strong at times when I only have myself to lean on. I kept on asking why things had to be too hard to me. I was feeling so devastated about him leaving me off guard. Loneliness killed me and so I wished for someone would come and save me from all this misery that I am going through. And sadly, though there were a few who attempted to win me, I still end up hurt and disappointed because none of them proved themselves and their clean intentions were nothing but a piece of shit (I am sorry for the language).

One night, while I was so stressed out and was about to lay on my bed, my phone beeped.  I picked it up and read:

“ Jesus says:  “You do not know what I am doing, but later you will understand” “

My heart was so touched and I felt so stupid to forget that I have a God who is always aware of my situation. It was the night when I somehow felt so light and I prayed for strength and wisdom. And the next day, everything seems to change. Days passed and I let God’s will to happen. I don’t know, I just felt so good within me, a piece of peace that was lost for a couple of months finally came back. I started to appreciate the presence of my friends. They make me laugh out so loud and dance like nobody was watching. My family filled me with inspiration and meaning. Their sincere love reminds me of who I am and what I can do. I somehow gained my self-worth. I am more focused at work and become more productive. I was selected to become one of the team leaders and my co-worker’s trust and respect took me to a whole new level of confidence and humility.

Another night came and  I already believed that everything is going well now. I was reading a book when I received another text message but this time it was not a quote that I was reading. It was an SMS from my ex who I mentioned above and was asking me to see him for a talk. I was like “Who the hell does he think he is? “ . I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe.