he cares.

I could see the concern in his eyes as he was glancing over the choir, mocha brown eyes resting on me.

Suddenly nervous, I looked down at my watch. 12:05. Shit. The class was over in 5 minutes. Douglas raised his hands and I prepared myself to sing, however, he waved them away.

"Class is over, have a good day, folks," He said, his students already putting their sheet music and octavos away. I began to do the same until Douglas called my name.

I looked up at him, watching him beckoning me to him.

Hesitantly, I walked to him, my hands nervously fidgeting in my pockets.

He started towards his office, a silent signal for me to follow him. So I did.

Once I entered, he gently closed the door and sat down at his desk, still looking at me with that same concerned expression.

"Are you alright?" Douglas asked, studying me carefully as I looked down at my feet. Gently, I shook my head. Douglas leaned back in his chair. "Talk to me, what's going on?" He gently said. I let out a shaky breath and leaned up against the wall.

"I.. I don't know. I guess I'm just stressed out about a ton of things," I said, looking up at him. He nodded gently, so I continued.

"And I can feel depression hitting hard. again.. I don't even know why, and that's what frustrates me. I either can't sleep at all or I sleep all day. I get irritated at everything and I always feel like I'm about to break down crying. And what sucks is that I hate showing vulnerability, so I stop myself from talking about it. No one seems to care anyway, so why should I bother them with my problems, you know?"

Douglas hummed. "Have you been feeling like you want to kill yourself?" He asked gently. Slowly, I nodded. He seemed hurt at my response, almost as if he were going to cry himself. It made me think if I said something wrong.

"I probably don't show it a lot, but I care about you, Matt. I really, really do. I don't know what I would do with myself if you were gone," his breath began to get shaky, "I always look forward to seeing you in the mornings, seeing your smiling face as you greet me. I adore having you in class. You always seem to know how to make people smile and you always light up the room. I just..." He paused for a moment, looking down at his folded hands. "You mean a lot to me. You really are like my son."

When I looked up at him again, tears were streaming down my face. I didn't know what to say. Douglas stood up and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a tight, warm, safe hug. It made me feel so wanted. It made me feel like maybe people would care if I was gone.

Crying, I hugged him back. God, I never wanted to let go. I never wanted to let go of this feeling of love and belonging.

He released me, sooner than I would like to admit. Looking at me, he smiled.

"I'm here for you."