The hardest part about high school is the loneliness. We sit in rooms filled with people but instead of interacting and appreciating each other we sit and we wait. We interact with our devices our friends are computer screens we lose ourselves in twitter feeds and snapchat stories.
But then there's you. You make me feel. instead of a screen, I see you survey your surroundings. I watch you look in awe at the world around you.
I remember the day I fell for you. In a cafeteria full of people the smell of stale food and body odor people at every turn. Phones Ipad laptops litter table tops. I watch as a boy and a girl sits across from each other snapchatting each other. Then there was you in the far back corner. Your nose in a book a smile on your face at every page turn. At that moment I became fascinated by you.
For weeks I watched seeing you defy the order of the pod people. I worked up the courage to talk to you. I walk across the cafeteria but what I see in your eyes stops me in my tracks. The sadness in your eyes so deep so utterly consuming like a pool I could drown in.
I turn and I ran. I ran past the pod people as far as I could go until I stopped. I fell to my knees and I screamed weeping for all the sorrow in your eyes.
Looking back I didn't realize I needed you. I tried so hard to push away from you. I immersed myself in the pod people culture. Turned my phone into my friend. I lost myself online trying to forget the sadness in your eyes.
But every time I looked into the mirror there you were. The sadness remained as you mourned for freedom.
I didn't understand what it meant to be different. That despite what society says you can be your own person. So I took that girl and I buried her far away till there was nothing left just a shell of what she used to be who I am.
