𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙, richie tozier

x. ( thoughts )

.⃗ . ༉‧₊˚✧ MURDERED!

SHE WAS ALONE. sitting on her bed, her back resting on the headboard and her legs in an indian style as she had her hands in her lap. it was the fourth of july and she had nothing that she wanted to do. she didn't want to do as much as see the losers club again. it was summer, and summer was supposed to be filled with happiness and excitement or stuff like that. but hers was full of sadness, tears, anger, a clown, and feelings being hurt. hers had been damaged the first time richie decided to snap at her, and the second was only worse. their argument outside of beverly's apartment had really taken a toll on how she felt.

the outgoing, strong and independent girl that she used to be had completely disappeared. now she was all emotional, depressed, and her anger issues had gotten really bad. not only was she stressing over the clown but now the feeling of guilt was building back up inside of her because of what he had said to her.

she knew that maybe one or two people referred to her as the girl who killed her mother a while back but that was only one or two people who she didn't care about at all, and didn't even know. but when richie says it, it's on a whole other level. he was what she thought was her friend, and hearing him say that to her face hurt. and she does care about him, of course. no matter how annoying he was he always mattered to stella. same goes with the rest of the losers club.

they were her only friends that she had since the car accident, so it was kind of a big deal to the redhead. but now she had none. it was all her fault too. she walked away from them, not caring to think about how she would feel after it happened and how much she really needed the group.

stella was lost in her thoughts as they all raced through her mind at the same time, her not being able to think about one at a time. she knew it would only cause her to become even sadder and she would start to over think it and start stressing out more than she needed to. it was more than she could take at once, and she was frustrated. not only with herself but with everything else that crossed her mind.

maybe she shouldn't have walked away. maybe she should have just stayed with them, or maybe could have at least tried to control herself and her temper. at this point of time, she'd have lost her mind and all of her common sense had evacuated with it. she was overwhelmed with the entire situation and she didn't know what to do about it.

she started to think that she probably overreacted about them not telling her but later started to argue with herself saying she had the right to be mad at them for not trusting her enough even when she put all of her trust into them. all stella really wanted was for them to return the favor so she could feel the least bit of feeling better about herself.

in all honesty, stella has completely lost herself. she stayed locked up in her feelings, sitting and staring at a bunch of nothing even though it was summer and she should be out doing something.

then the realization hit her.

there was a fourth of july parade, or she was pretty sure there was at least, that took place today. she had a flyer somewhere on her desk, so she shot up and began to look for it as an excuse to be out of the house. she was bored and tired of thinking about how bad her life was going so far.

she pulled it out from a large stack of random overdue homework from the previous school year. stella made a mental note to throw it all away, as she wouldn't even need it as she proceeded in school after the summer break was over with. she read over it, making sure to remember where it was and when it started.

so with that, she got into the shower with high hopes of finding maybe some new friends for at least over the remaining weeks left of summer and that she wouldn't run into the losers club while she was there. she was pretty sure they wouldn't make an appearance, which assured her even more in the wish she made.

oh, how little the girl knew.

🍒, maybankz—
n/a

WRITTEN. unknown
EDITED. june 5, 2020