Stay

Stay - Chapter 3

It's not much of a life you're living
It's not just something you take, it's given

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know.

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
Yeah, it takes me all the way.
I want you to stay.

Happy's POV:

Tonight Adriana seemed worse than ever. I had watched her steady decline over the past few months. Hell, I had been watching her since she started working at T&M six months ago, but I kept my distance in the beginning. I don't think I really understood what my fascination was with her right away. At first look, she just seemed like another one of Gemma's pet projects. Gemma was always taking in strays and trying to change people's lives. Gemma was a tough broad, but in my opinion, she was a sucker for a sob story. And that's what I mistook Adriana for at first – just a hard-luck story who was looking for a handout. I figured she'd take advantage of Gemma's generosity for a few weeks and then slip away without warning once she found a better deal somewhere else.

But I was wrong. Sometimes I'd see Adriana in the office, and I'd get a good look at her when she wasn't paying attention. She was really beautiful if you could get past her bitchy, tough girl front. She put up a wall until she got to know you, and I could see how that wall would scare most people off. Thank God I don't scare so easy. I saw her with Bobby and Tig, and sometimes she'd talk to Juice, and she seemed a little guarded with them in the beginning, but gradually I could tell that wall was coming down. She'd smile and sometimes laugh at something they said, and then her whole face would light up. She was really something to see when that happened.

For me, I was more drawn in by what was going on behind that smile. She had a hard look about her, like something heavy was going on behind those piercing blue eyes of hers. It was something I identified with, I guess. I talked to Bobby and asked him what he knew. I wouldn't dare mention her to Gemma, but I knew I could trust Bobby to keep it between us, and I also knew he checked in on Adriana once in a while. All he said was that Adriana's ex beat her up and she left him. The thought of any asshole raising a hand to her made my blood boil. It was everything I had in me not to make Juice find out where he lived so I could go slit the douchebag's throat.

So I spent the next few months just watching her. Never speaking. There very little opportunity for us to come into contact at work. At night when she hung out in the clubhouse, we'd sort of dance around each other – each of us going way out of our way to avoid coming into contact. But I watched her. And as I observed, I began noticing things. Like how even though she was in a roomful of people, she always stayed on the outskirts of the crowd. And how she sometimes disappeared, without warning, but then you'd see her by herself, off in a corner, sitting quietly, with a faraway look in her eyes. That's what it was about this girl. No matter where she was or who she was with, she was always alone.

Not to say that being alone is a bad thing. Other than the club, I don't like a lot of people around me. I don't collect friends and acquaintances like normal people do. It's just too much baggage for me to deal with. And there's a certain amount of safety and simplicity in being a loner.

But for some reason, I got the feeling that Adriana wasn't good with being alone.

Lately, I had been a little more obvious when I watched her. She caught me one day staring at her and it took me by surprise. Because even though she looked away, she ended up taking a second look. And she stared right back at me. Really hard. Stared right through me with those baby blues 'til I felt like she was boring holes into my skin and ripping my insides out. Fuck, this girl took my breath away that day. She stared right back at me, never speaking a word, but saying a big "fuck you" nonetheless. No one had ever looked at me like that before. Most people run the other way when I stare them down. But not Adriana.

After that day, I looked her right in the eyes whenever I could. I dared her to stare back. I silently egged her on. It became a game that I wasn't sure I wanted to win, or what the prize would even be if I did. I just liked the high I got when she stared back at me. Even if she pretended to not see me the first time, her eyes always darted back for a second look.

After Koz and I had won our game of pool, I glanced over to the couch to check on Adriana, but she was gone. I scanned the room but she wasn't anywhere to be found. Walking over to the couch where Gemma was still sitting, I spied Adriana's cigarettes on the table next to where she had been not minutes before.

Gemma read my mind. "She said she went to the bathroom, but I can guarantee you she went outside to escape this all this noise. She likes slipping out behind the office when she thinks no one will notice that she's missing."

"She been ok lately?" I asked her, trying not to sound overly concerned.

Gemma's lip curled up like she was trying not to smile. "You know the answer to that better than anybody, Hap."

My jaw tightened. "It ain't like that, Gemma."

"Uh huh." She nodded. "If you say so, Hap. Now go on outside and find her and make sure she's alright, please." She waved her fingers towards the door, shooing me away.

Here's the thing with Gemma. She can piss you off worse than anyone you ever meet, but 9 times out of 10 you know she's right. And there's no arguing with her, even if you think she isn't. Either way, you're fucked.

So I walked outside to look for Adriana.

xxx