July 4th, 1994
Julia had been frozen in front of her mirror for a ridiculous amount of time, over analyzing every detail of her outfit, hair, and makeup. A plain, black tee shirt was pulled around her torso, tucked into a dark wash jean skirt. A dainty chain was hooked around her slim throat, and her hair fell loosely, framing her hollow face. Effort in her style had become unfamiliar to her for awhile, but on this special night, her tasteful, refined style had come back to her. She looked fine, but a little voice in her head nagged at her, critiquing the most minuscule details of her look.
And to some degree, she believed it.
She sighed heavily, and squeezed her eyes shut, frustrated with her hyperactive, self-destructive thoughts. She wished she had her old natural sense of confidence back, that natural air of self-assurance she once possessed, but that pride had died with Kurt.
She let out a miserable whine of pity, and quickly snatched her purse up, wanting to escape the mirror before she'd get herself even more worked up.
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Dave's heart thumped painfully rapidly beneath his ribcage. He was slouched in a barstool, sipping on a rum and coke. His guitar rested against the smooth wood of the bar. His demeanor was cool and collected, but that was just a facade. Truhfully, he was a nervous wreck. He contemplated every single possible scenario in his head. What if he played miserably in front of her? What if he fell off stage? What if his music made her upset?
He pondered every disastrous situation obsessively, finding himself increasingly nervous with each thought.
As he began to play another one, a familiar head of blonde hair stopped him in his tracks.
He watched in awe. Her wavy blonde locks framed her face divinely. Her red lips were plump and defined, as was the rest of her. Her skin looked so soft. He imagined having his hands on it.
Unbeknownst to Dave, Julia had binge drank and taken a few sleeping pills earlier in the day. Before getting ready, she looked like she had just come from hell, but Julia cleaned up nice.
Her blue irises found his hazel ones. Dave immediately felt a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Dave!" She called out, shoving through the crowd, and over to the bar.
He slid off the bar stool, immediately pulling her in for a hug. An unwelcome blush crawled up her neck, her heart thumping as his warm body pressed against hers. It was strange, how these long buried sensations rushed back so quickly at such a platonic touch.
As the two pulled away from one another, a small void grew in their hearts. But they remained grateful to simply be around eachother. "When do you guys go up there?" She asked, cocking her head towards the stage.
His eyes flicked down at his wrist watch, his stomach turning. "Ten minutes, if I can even find the bastards," he muttered, referencing his band mates, who were scattered throughout the bar. He caught sight of Nate, who was sipping a pint of lager. "Nate!" He called. The gingers head shot up, his eyebrows raised as he looked over at Dave. "Can you round up pat and William?" He asked loudly. Nate took one last gulp of his beverage, and nodded.
Dave offered him a grateful look, before turning back to Julia.
She giggled, shaking her head. "What?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow. "They remind me of Nirvana. You guys were such goofballs together, and now they're your goofballs." She explained, forcing a smile on her face.
She hadn't ever talked about the past before, that one forbidden section of it that she loved so much, but felt a significant dread to speak of, since it had all washed away, taking a part of herself with it. This was new to her, trying to talk peacefully about her past.
And it was just as new to Dave. An odd mixture of happiness and sorrow bubbled in the pit of his stomach. He looked back on those good times in pleasure, but his heart sank as he longed for those simpler moments.
He nodded, chuckling, trying to focus on the fulfillment those memories brought. "Yeah, I guess so." He said, tucking a few strands of stringy brown hair behind his ear.
Before she could speak another word, a band of three men approached Dave from behind, one Julia recognized as William slinging him arm over Dave's shoulders. "Let's get up there." William said, patting Dave's chest.
"Yeah, but first, I'd like you guys to meet someone," he began, smiling slightly at Julia, his eyes not leaving hers. "This is Julia. Julia, this is the band." He said, turning towards Pat.
Nate was the first to step forward, extending his arm out, offering his hand. She took it, shaking it firmly. "Very nice to meet you." He said, smiling politely. "You too." She replied, masking her nervousness with a smile.
She wasn't sure why she was so on edge. She had been around musicians for years, and had built the confidence to talk and deal with them very well, but maybe the fact that this was Dave's new band, maybe that made her anxious.
But as she interacted with each member, her nerves eased slightly, and she realized that there wasn't really anything to worry about.
"The introductions were nice, but you guys have a show to play." Julia teased, smiling slyly over at Dave. He didn't even think it was possible, but his heart hammered even harder, that it rang in his ears.
He simply smiled nervously, nodding.
"Alright, let's do this." Pat announced, clapping Dave's back. And with that, they approached the stage, which was full of their instruments. Julia perched herself at the bar, which offered a surprisingly decent view of the humble stage.
She motioned the bartender over, and ordered a gin tonic, flattening out a ten dollar bill.
She then focused her attention on the stage, watching as they tested and adjusted their instruments. She switched her gaze to Dave. His calloused hands gripped the neck and body of the guitar tightly, his knuckles flashing a ghastly shade of white. The fluorescent lights shining down on him felt ten times hotter. The small stage of the bar felt like a plateau, the minuscule crowd below him like a wide, wavering ocean.
It was funny. He had played for army's of people, at festivals and monster bowl arenas, but the anxiety he felt on the stage of a seedy downtown Los Angeles bar greatly conquered the anticipation of playing for a sea of fans.
And Julia lingering around in the back of the room didn't help.
