A Cool Guy's Cool Life

Chapter 1: Non-Humble Beginnings

Cool Guy

I used to take stuff in my life way too seriously. Had one of those dramatic pasts that everyone is used to in life. But then I decided to throw all that away, grab a cool-ass moniker and just chill, so that's pretty much where my life is now. And since you probably have gathered from the subtitle to the chapter, I'm Cool Guy. Real name doesn't matter. Most people call me CG, so I guess that's what you should call me too. Now I bet you're thinking to yourself well this is a tad confusing, he knows I'm reading a book about him! And you'd be pretty much right. Well, kinda. I didn't know as these things were happening that I'd eventually end up being in a position where writing this would make sense. So now you're probably wondering what actually happened. What is the "cool life" this "Cool Guy" led? Well, to sum it up in a few sentences... I'd have to say that it was not much. Well, it was your average cross-dimensional, reality bending, ancient prophecy fare. With romance subplots out the ass. And if you think that's cool, wait until we get to the time travelling lesbian couple, one from my day and one from the distant future! Best part is she may be my daughter; we've got no freaking idea! Life's fun when you stop giving a shit, more people should try it. Of course, I'm getting ahead of myself slightly. I've already introduced myself but I should introduce the three other people who'll be telling this story as it goes on. I should also dial back on mentioning things that from your perspective haven't happened yet. Anyway, first off is Amy Frays. She was raised by her older brother and her slightly-less-older-but-still-older brother, the latter of which is an okay guy. Amy and I go way back, she was one of the people that knew me before my name became what it is now. She still called me CG though, since my old name also had those initials. Kinda. Sorta. It's complicated. Anyway, moving swiftly on to my only male friend, Seth Allen. Truth be told I never actually asked about his home life because it just wasn't the sort of thing we'd discuss. We just spoke in dated movie references and video-game lingo for a while, and it was a pretty fun time. By the time we'd gotten to the point in our friendship where we should have known about this stuff, neither of us wanted to ask because it just didn't matter. That's just the sort of friends we were. And finally, the weirdest of the bunch, Tabitha Williams. I only ended up meeting her because Amy introduced me, a childhood friend of hers that I'd never met. She was always busy with some kind of apprentice program where she would work under some sciencey dude. But despite all the nerd stuff she was pretty cool to hang out with. When we actually saw her. But that wasn't often and I kinda felt as if I wasn't as close to her as my other friends. So when this entire story started by her sending me a letter (of all things) telling me to come to this weird lab on the outskirts of the town and to bring Amy and Seth, you would understand that I was a little unsure. I mean, I didn't even know how she found my address. But, I think I'd probably be better off switching to a different kind of narration now.

The letter smelled faintly like parchment, and was actually sealed with wax, so even though I had no idea who it was from, I had an inkling. Tabitha was always quite eccentric with stuff, and I felt like she was going to be the one writing it. After slicing my finger slightly with the letter opener, I was able to get into the letter and open it up. Sure enough, matching the parchment and the wax seal, it was written with ink. Most likely a feather quill too, knowing her. I had to squint to actually figure out what was written, cursive not being my strong suit.

CG.

I've got something cool to show you. I'm at the gated-off facility by Fifth Street. Bring Amy and Seth.

Also, bring snacks.

-T. Williams

The letter was confusing, to say the least. I didn't even know Fifth Street was a place, it sounded made up until I checked it on the map app. I also wasn't sure why she didn't contact Seth herself, because I felt like the two of them were pretty close. I know one time they both got shitfaced and sung the entirety of Love Is An Open Door from Frozen. I also know that afterwards Seth ended up falling out of a window, spraining his ankle and swearing off booze. And then promptly started drinking again a week later. The part about snacks made sense though, as thin as Tabitha was she ate a surprising amount of sugary foods, reminding me of a character from an anime I watched a while back. A quick group text (that I included Tabitha in as a passive-aggressive show of how easier it could have been than sending me a letter) later, I was walking with Seth and Amy to the lab. Well, no one actually called it a lab but it was kind of obvious what it was. A building a sciencey person works in is unofficially a lab even if you think otherwise, it's just how the world works. When we arrived, the first noticeable thing was how high the gates were and yet how flimsy the material was. A simple chainlink fence that could easily be cut through, with a gate in it that had a lot more of a sturdy look. Stepping up to it, a voice popped out of an intercom with a technical thing on it that I wouldn't be able to fathom the purpose of at all.