Live for You [HARDZZELLO]

3

The rest of the next week passes like this, their "eating routine" remaining the same and the pair get to know each other better. Joe ends up sharing everything about himself, which excluding his eating disorder, isn't much to talk about anyway. He still has both parents, and is a typical college baseball nerd. Sure, he has some friends, friends that he refuses to tell that he's in hospital. The last thing he needs is people worrying about him, if they even do. In turn, the blonde also opens up. He dabbles in a little acting and modelling, not to the extent of getting recognised on the streets, but he was comfortable with that. Slowly, both boys find themselves less on their mobile phones and talking to each other to pass the time; the painfully long, draggy time. Of course, Joe is curious as to why the blonde, who looks oh-so-vibrant and healthy, is warded in hospital. He tries to ask the doctors, but the information is confidential. During Ben's daily consultations with the doctors Joe tries to strain his eyes to hear their conversation occurring on the other side of the curtain. When the curtain is drawn back to reveal a beaming Ben, Joe is left just as clueless as before.

"Hey why aren't you in the Eating Disorder department?" Ben suddenly asks.

Joe looks up from his phone to glance at the blonde whose eyes were still glued onto his ipad.

"My mom." He huffs, "She doesn't want me seeing the other ED patients and compare myself to them. She probably wants me to recover quickly."

Ben nods, "This ward is pretty pricey though. She must love you a shit ton."

Joe fought back the urge to laugh, "Love? No. If she loved me, she wouldn't have put me through this hell hole. I wouldn't even be here, shoving food into my system 24/7. I wouldn't be here, needles jabbed into my skin, stuck in bed all day, having to be under supervision while I try to take a fucking piss!" Joe doesn't realise that by the end of his sentence, he's practically yelling.

---

Ben puts down ipad and stares into Joe's eyes, and Joe looks away, embarrassed by his sudden outburst.

"Joe, you know she saved your life."

"If this is my life then I don't want it to be saved." He replies simply and smugly.

Joe looks at the blonde, and this time Ben refuses to return the gaze. Uneasiness stirs in the Ginger's heart, partly wishing he'd taken back what he said. He tries to change the subject. "Uhm, what about you. What are you in for?"

He's just about to open his mouth when a nurse pushes a wheelchair into the ward. It's time for Joe's first Weigh-In. Joe struggles into the chair, legs wobbly under his weight from hardly standing at all for the past 7 days, and the nurse wheels him out of the ward. Well, not before Ben flashes him a bright smile and gives him a thumbs-up to make him feel encouraged.

It works.

--------------------

'0.8kg'

Joe stares at the number the nurse had written down on her clipboard. He knows he isn't supposed to look, but he does, and now he fucking regrets it.

How had he gained 0.8kg in a week? Especially with all the food he'd thrown out?

Joe is wheeled back into the ward and he curls up in the corner of the bed and cries. He cries and cries, his wails drowning out the words of comfort that Ben was giving him from the other bed. What a fucking failure he was, and to think that he had to go through this torture for another 3 weeks, and possibly more.

3 hours pass, and Joe is still a snivelling mess. Tear stained face, nose rubbed with snot, eyes red and swollen. Something falls on Joe's lap. A paper aeroplane. Emotion unchanging, he unfolds the origami and a crumpled piece of tissue paper falls out.

Mentally groaning, Joe is afraid Ben might launch into full-on therapist mode ; The last things he needs to hear right now are: "You made such good progress in the last week!" Or even worse, "You look so much healthier!"

"Use it. You look like shit." the voice comes form Joe's left. The ginger laughs, a stark contrast to his prior crying state. Was is a sarcastic laugh, an exasperated laugh, or a genuine laugh? Even he couldn't tell.

Joe makes a big show of blowing his nose as loud as he can into the tissue.

"Happy?" He says, waving the soiled tissue in the air like a surrender flag.

"Very," The blonde smiles, "Now throw the damn thing away, I don't need any Mazzello germs invading my air," He says, swatting the space above his head.

Now Joe feels grateful for his years of baseball and pitching experience, because he tosses the snotty ball right into the blonde's hair. The ward erupts in screams, cursing, and laughter, probably enough to disturb the whole section. But it doesn't matter because, unnoticed to Joe, the ginger had totally forgotten about the weight gain he was so upset about just mere hours ago.