On my very first chapter I received a couple of questions. Like if I have a dream, what would make me happy and how do I see my future?
I'd like to answer these questions. I'm not sure if it will interest any of you, but either way, I like sharing it.
To start with the first questions, if I have a dream, I do. I think everybody has a dream, regardless of how far down you might be. In fact, I have a couple of dreams. I dream of learning how to cope with my depression, without hurting myself or the people around me. I dream of becoming a somewhat decent tattoo artist, with maybe a side job at a newspaper.
For a long time my dream was to help others, where I couldn't help myself and I'd like to believe this is a dream I have fullfilled. I still can't believe that I've actually managed to mean so much to so many people, but it makes me feel absolutely amazing.
Another dream of mine would be to be a part of a group that helps teenagers coping with depression, anxiety, suicide thoughts, etcetera. To take WDLHA to a whole different level. Bigger, global, reaching more and more people, saving more and more teenagers from the demons inside their heads.
To answer the second questions, reaching these dreams would ofcourse make me very happy. What would also make me very happy is if WDLHA continues to save people's lives. To continue to make people happy. To continue to make them feel less lonely.
It would make me happy if less people judged each other, but accepted each other the way they are. Thick, thin, blonde, brown, purple, goth, Christian, Islamic, foreign, whatever. That it wouldn't matter what you are, just who you are.
Another thing that would make me happy, is when I manage to worry less. To shut out negativity and open the doors for positivity. To become a person that I can be proud of. It doesn't matter what others think, as long as I am proud of the person I've become. That would make me happy, I believe.
To answer the third question, how I see my future, I am not extremely sure. I'd like to travel a lot, meet different people, be inspired, taught and influenced by different cultures, religions and understandings. I'd like to write a lot, poems, stories, journals, anything. I'd like to be free from the opinions of others. Earning money by doing the things I love, preferably moving around. I'm not planning on staying in one place and I hope that I'll be able to realize that.
I'm not sure if I see a family in my future. If I do have to imagine that, I would like to be with someone who accepts me for who I am, for what I've been through and for what I want to do. Who accepts my opinions, my bad moods, my good moods, my anxiety attacks and my maybe sometimes accuring moments of extreme insecurity. Someone who manages to support me, even though I want to give up myself. Who travels along with me, until we get a kid and settle down somewhere peaceful, with people who are kind to us simply because we are kind to them.
I know I demand a lot from everything. From my dreams, my happiness and my future, but I think it's best to set your bars high. That way you keep yourself motivated to continue on living. To keep writing the story with the pen that was given to you, because there are things you want to become, experience, read, watch, write. Because there are people you want to meet, kiss, marry. Children you want to raise, name and teach things you were never taught.
I am not sure what I'll become. Which of these things will actually become reality. As long as I manage to feel happy, anything is good to me. As long as I finally manage to gain and keep happiness, I will be satisfied, regardless.
Because being happy in the end isn't something you should take for granted.
I guess being happy is my answer to all three of those questions.
- Kyran
YOU ARE READING
Kyran's book thing
RandomA book in which you'll be getting to know a different part of me. A brighter side. A book in which I'll tell you about my favorite music, books and quotes. My special love for pigs and random facts. A book which is completely free for all of your...