Where Have You Been? | Aarmau AU Fanfiction

One/Ten

Mistakes happen, and this one got me into as much trouble as you could ever imagine. It wasn't just one either, it was a whole series of them. There was one that my dad never found out about until Aphmau's mother and my dad came into my dorm with their arms crossed. I knew he found out about it, but that wasn't the biggest surprise. The bigger surprise was far much more then I could ever imagine.
I sat at the end of my bed, laptop beside me. Although literally everything accept Wikipedia and Google was blocked, I still made the most out of it. The only other thing I was allowed were games but even that was limited, as most websites with games had a way of contacting other people. The ones without that ability were blocked, as well as Yandere Simulator because it was going to 'Tempt Me to Turn Somebody' according to my father. I was looking up the easiest ways to commit suicide without causing suspicion for the 20th time in the last two days. Honestly with how my life was at the moment I wanted to do it. Between only being allowed out of my dorm for classes and no way of socializing was depression. All of the ways were needing things I didn't have, or would get me caught.
All of a sudden my father walked inside. "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING UP HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE?!"
I gasp, looking up at him. "I-I'm not!"
"YES YOU ARE, I CAN SEE YOUR BROWSER HISTORY!" He walks over, taking the laptop away from me, looking at him. "You are NOT getting this back!"
"Why?!"
"WHY DO YOU THINK?!" I didn't reply, looking at the ground. "DON'T YOU DARE TRY ANYTHING YOU READ!"
"Why not?"
"IT'S MY JOB TO KEEP YOU ALIVE!"
"Is that the only reason? I'm stuck here 24/7, with no chance of ever getting a life!" I shout back, glaring at him. "When will I get to go out and meet somebody like you?!"
"NEVER! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TRYING TO CONTROL YOUR EYES LIKE I KEEP TELLING YOU TO! WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO CONTROL THEM, WE'LL TALK!"
I stare up at him. "I ALREADY WEAR A BANDANA ALL OF THE TIME, NOBODY WILL SEE, WHY DOES THAT NOT COUNT?!"
"IF IT FALLS OFF YOU COULD KILL SOMEBODY!"
"NO I WON'T! I'M NOT DUMB, I'D LOOK DOWN AND WALK AWAY!"
"YOU. ARE. NOT. GOING. OUT. UNTIL. YOU. LEARN. TO. CONTROL. YOUR. EYES! NO CLASSES EITHER UNTIL THEN!" He closes my laptop and walks out with it, slamming my door shut.
I breathe heavy, looking at the floor. I crawl up my bed, screaming at the top of the voice into my pillow while punching my bed hard. I bit it eventually to stop my screaming, crying my eyes out. When I had finally calmed down, I hug my pillow tight, pulling the blanket over my body. I just laid there, sometimes crying softly. Eventually I fell asleep, still clutching the pillow.
When I woke up by my alarm I ignored it since I wasn't going to class either. As I wasn't able to go back to sleep I got up and wiped my tears away that hadn't gone during the night, walking over to my TV. I turned it on and put on something random, clutching the bandana tight in my hand. I still remembered when Aphmau gave it to me to cover the scars I got when accidentally cutting my wrists. Honestly that's what gave me the idea to self-harm, and I've been doing it for ages. Since she never asked for the bandana back, I kept it. It was the closest thing I had to her herself, so I made sure to keep it close to me.
I really wanted to learn how to keep my eyes safe and black, but I had nothing to practice on or a mirror, since I broke it, so that I can see. I ran back to my bed quickly, grabbed my pillow, then sat back down on the couch and cuddled it for comfort. Hours later my dad walked in. "Have you eaten anything?"
"How could I?" I muttered, hugging the pillow tighter.
"You could have just told one of the guards to get you something."
"I know, but I don't want to seem pushy and spoiled..."
He scoffs. "Tough! I'll have to get you something to eat then." He walks back out. He walked back in only half an hour later, dropping something from IHOP in front of me. "Eat. Now."
"I'm not hungry..." I said, just as an excuse in case he put something in there that would kill or do something bad.
"I said, eat!"
"Okay..!" I whimper, but ate it. Although I really hated the taste I forced it down.
"Have you been trying to keep your eyes normal?"
"How..?"
"Training."
"I don't see anything that could make me mad or in love, do you?"
"Thoughts."
"My eyes don't turn at just thoughts..."
He raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"
"I used to check before I broke my mirror..."
He sighs. "Good! At least that's a start, I guess." He says, sighing. We spent all day trying to control my eyes. Luckily, by the end, I was able to contain happiness. He left at only 6am, without even saying he was going. He just left. I crawled straight into bed the second I saw he had left, bringing I pillow I left on the couch.