Juniper

Chapter 1

(Trigger Warnings: Suicide, grief, death, and graphic imagery)

     A scream tore through my lungs and echoed off the walls. Feet thundered up the stairs, but I ignored them. I closed my eyes wishing it was all a dream, wishing I could go back in time and stop this from happening. I fell to my knees as the door rammed in the wall with a loud bang. Screams bounced off the walls as they saw what was hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room. I crawled towards the thing hanging from the ceiling. 

     "Juniper?" I choked out quietly. I grabbed the hand of the one person I trusted in my life. Her hand was cold and lifeless in mine. Her body swang gently back and forth by the rope hanging from a hook in the ceiling. Slowly, I began to look up. My eyes stopped at her neck. A rope encircled her neck, holding her up in the air. Tears welled up in my eyes as they traveled up to her face. A sob escaped my lips. Her once bright blue eyes filled with life were now gray and dead. The lips that were always talking were now blue and slightly parted. Her golden hair floated around her head like a halo and her skin once tinged pink was now an ashy white.

     Suddenly, I felt a warm hand on my back reminding me of how cold Juniper's hand felt in mine. I quickly dropped her hand and covered my face. Tears flowed down my cheeks like a waterfall. I wished they would drown me. Sobs shook my body so hard I could hear my bones rattle. I wished they would fall apart. My breath came out in gasps between sobs. I wished I wasn't breathing. I could faintly hear someone calling my name, but I ignored it.

     "Whyyyyy," I moaned into my hands. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" I screamed. "NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR!" I continued to scream. I felt arms wrap around me, attempting to comfort me. Someone screamed. I think it was me. Someone was repeatedly saying my name, but I didn't care. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to leave, I couldn't stay here. I need to get out. I flew up and pushed myself out of the room.  I tripped and fell down the stairs; I let out a groan. Paramedics surrounded me all asking if I was okay. I didn't answer. I was numb; I couldn't feel anything. One of the paramedics extended their hand towards me so they could help me up. I ignored their hand and stood up. I pushed through the paramedics and ran out the door. Yells and gasps of surprise bounced off my back as I sprinted through the yard and out into the street. I think my Aunt was yelling my name. When did she get here?

     I ignored all the shouts of everyone telling me to come back. I ignored everything as I ran down the street. Buildings streamed past and cars whizzed on by. I felt empty. My brain was devoid of thoughts. I couldn't think. I didn't want to think. Every time I thought, I would think of Juniper's pale and lifeless face, of how her hand was cold in mine, and how I would never see her alive again. So, I didn't think; I ran. I didn't know where I was going and it didn't matter. Nothing mattered now that Juniper was gone. I ran without stopping. Normally, I would have stopped by now. In fact, I would have stopped a long time ago. Normally, I had no endurance. I would be out of breath after running a quarter of the track. My legs would have given out and my chest would hurt after running the whole track, but now was not normal, and it would never be normal again. 

     I was coming closer and closer to the busiest street in the town. The street was constantly filled with traffic. A person was hit at least once a month. I came up to the street and stopped at the very edge. I closed my eyes and listened to the cars thundering down the road. Every car that passed right in front of me would be going so fast my hair would be whipped to the side by the wind. Silent tears slipped down my face. I could step out onto this street and end it right here. I wouldn't have to feel the pain, and I could be reunited with Juniper and my grandma. I just stood there contemplating for a few moments before stepping back. It wasn't my time, not yet. I still had so many questions with no answers. I needed to know why. Why Juniper would do this. I opened my eyes and pressed the crosswalk button. 

    Moments later, I was running across the street and down the sidewalk. The wind dried old tears, but new ones kept coming. Shop windows blurred past me in a tornado of colors. I ran and ran and ran. Don't ask me how I did it because I don't know. My throat burned, my chest hurt, my breath came out in short gasps, and my legs were begging me to stop. I ignored it all and continued to run. I wanted to get away from her house as soon as possible. I wanted to forget. Which was stupid of me because I could never forget my best friend. 

     Juniper meant everything to everything- had meant everything to me. I never did anything without her. She knew everything about me and I thought I knew everything about her. How did she hide something so big from me? Why would she hide it? Juniper was kind and thoughtful. She was always putting others first. She wouldn't hurt a fly. She was perfect. Why did she take her own life when she still had so much. more to live for? Juniper was the one person who loved me for me. She never judged me and was always there for me. Why didn't she trust me enough to help her? Why did she leave me? Juniper was the bravest person I knew. She always did what she thought was right even if other people didn't agree. What made her end it all? What made her too scared to continue living?

Why did she kill herself?

     I collapsed onto my knees, gasping for breath. My mouth was so dry and my lips were so chapped. I couldn't feel my legs and my chest ached. My head was pounding. The tears on my face had dried. I don't think I could physically cry anymore. I don't think I had any more water left in my body. 

     "Miss? Miss?" I heard someone call out. I looked in the direction of the voice, but my vision was blurry and unfocused. I could faintly see a figure in my direction. 
     "I think I'll just lay down," I murmured to myself as I laid my head on the ground. The grass tickled my cheeks.
     "Miss?!" The voice grew panicked. I began to close my eyes. I was so tired... I was slowly beginning to slip from consciousness. I felt hands clasp on my shoulders and try to sit me up. The hands gently shook me. "Are you okay?" I heard them ask, but it sounded like they were miles away. I felt the person pick me up as I finally slipped into the darkness.

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Authors Note:

Thank you all so much for reading!

Word count: 1254

Next part out now!!