Simple | IM JAEBUM

v.

She woke up alone.

And to a text message from Insik saying he had gone to grab their belongings, and to reply immediately if she needed anything. Seeing that reminded Seonjae it was Saturday, which she supposed was good.

It was sent four hours ago, which, considering the time it took to reach the dorms and the rain that still poured outside her—their—window, she supposed was bad.

She padded into the living room after doing her routine, cooked four scrambled eggs, rice, and made herself green tea. Jinyoung and Yugyeom woke up first; nearly doting on the maknae was amusing only because Jinyoung had been cold. Yugyeom said he would work hard in his dancing today because she inspired him. Fawning on him for that wasn't entirely faked.

"Did you cook for BTS when you were in Big Hit?" Youngjae asked in between bites.

Fighting down the weightless feeling that rose in her chest, she said. "Every time Jin-oppa couldn't, or Jungkook needed help, I would step in. We had some kind of rotation. Commonly, I cleaned the dishes―perfect for throwing it at them if they piss me off."

They laughed at that, and like the rain that pattered against the windows, that lifted feeling plumetted. No more; no more, because no one in Seonjae's life except for her crew understood what she had with BTS, what she wanted to have for ten years to come. Insik, Jiyeong-unnie, and her dancers saw how she broke and grew with those boys, but no more.

"You must really care for them." she looked back to see Youngjae watching her, an unreadable, if not solemn look on his handsome face.

The sides of Seonjae's lips curled, taking her empty cup as she walked away—without any real direction but away from the idol and the air that became stifling around him. "Yes, I do."

*

Her MV was released.

She didn't know what to expect—didn't risk hoping or anything stupid like that—of the final version and how her fans would interpret it. The most discussed was the fact that they finally had a face to match Blade's voice and body, with the Got7 team-up falling a close second.

"Bye bye, faceless idol," Seonjae had muttered, hanging up a Slytherin poster on the back of their bedroom wall. Insik only laughed at her.

The rug was pulled under her late that night, when she padded to the kitchen for a glass of water and almost drop-kicked Jackson from where he slunk up from the dark.

"Do you know who Red Light is, nuna?" he said.

But then, hiding her surprise was easy: not at how Seonghun found her, but at how Jackson found out and made the incentive to broach the subject like this. She was almost impressed. "I can't say I do. Why?"

A lift of his broad shoulders. "Their leader, Park Seonghun, says he's looking for someone from a small idol school. An old friend who did something bad to him."

Seonjae's feet braced farther apart on the floor.

"There are some who suspect you immediately after your MV released," Jackson went on. He already congratulated her when he and his group returned from their shows today. "You're not the only one, but at least for me, you're the one who makes sense."

"Why?" she didn't want to breathe too easily. Not if she couldn't throw her glass at his face.

That face was now twisted with pity and wariness. "I'm not sure."

His loudness wasn't without reason. A sociable foreigner in a seven-member rookie group; it didn't take much to see how much softness he could give. He was only intimidating because he looked the part of a playboy. She could see him treating women well, if not with tremendous kindness. He'd already been so sweet and respectful of her. If she lied...

"Yes—the friend he's talking about is me."

Jackson's eyes widened, his lips forming a hard, contemplative line. Seonjae wanted to grab him by the shoulders, make him look at her, tell her what he's thinking. But she only held her water glass tighter and waited.

"Did you really ghost him after he went to America?"

She blinked, the world swaying beneath her feet. "No."

Hearing the unwillingness in her tone to elaborate, Jackson nods. "Nuna... You're partnered with us now. If he does confront you, or any of his members, or his fans, we'll support and be with you. We are here."

I'm not. "You can only go so far."

"Then we'll go as far as we can."

The words resounded even as she bid him goodnight and she returned to bed. As if sharing one mind, Insik shifted from across the room. "Are you all right, LJ?" he rasped.

She nodded, not wanting to dive into this cesspool just yet. "I just went to drink water."

A suspicious pause. "Do you need music?"

Seonjae shook her head, embracing a throw pillow. "I'm fine. Thanks."

Damn them. Damn them all and their ridiculous compassion.