My Boys

Funeral

Funeral

3 days ago

I walked hand in hand with my dad while holding Jake and dad holding Josh. My dad was wearing a black suit, the twins were both wearing a black onesies, and I wore a black dress. We were walking to Key West Beach. My mom’s favorite place to go.

My mom never like the idea of being in the ground six feet under. So we had her cremated. Her remains were in a beautiful bright yellow swirl vase. She loved the color yellow.

We walked up to the water and took a look of the view. The ocean was a bright blue, the sun was setting all the yellows, pinks, purples, were in the sky.  It was a breath taking.

I looked up to my dad that hasn’t said a word the whole way up here. He was smiling.

“Your mother would’ve loved this, it’s perfect.” He told me. I smiled and nodded in agreement.

My dad reached over and took Jake from me and handed me the vase.

I knew what he wanted me to do. I walked up to the water away from my family.

I looked up at the sky, knowing my mom will always be watching me.

“Mom, I made you a promise, and I promise I will keep that promise as long as I live. I will try my hardest to be the best mother to them. I won’t let you down.. Also Mom, don’t worry about dad, I’ll keep an eye on him.” Tears running down my checks. 

“Mom I love you so much. I will never forget the wonderful memoires we had, all the time we spent together. I will tell Jake and Josh that you love them with all your heart, because I know you do. Even though they will never get to fully meet you I will tell them everything they need to know about their grandma. We love you.” More and more tears came.

I flipped the vase upside down and her ashes went in the water. I began to sing her favorite song.

"I Won't Let Go"

 

It's like a storm

That cuts a path

It breaks your will

It feels like that

 

You think you're lost

But you're not lost on your own

you're not alone

 

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

If you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

 

It hurts my heart

To see you cry

I know it's dark

This part of life

Oh it finds us all

And we're too small

To stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

My father started singing with me.

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

 

And I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall

I'm right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down

you're gonna make it

Yeah I know you can make it

 

Cause I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

And I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

And I won't let go

Won't let you go

No I won't

We song this song over and over till we reached my dad’s truck. I helped him put the twins in their car seats, once they we’re buckle in I got in the front seat.

I held my dad’s hand while we drove home.

We both had to be strong. I had to be strong mom for my kids and strong daughter for my dad. Today starts a new life for me and him. At least we know we’ll always have someone watching over us. 

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