somebody to love | ben hardy x joe mazzello

chapter six - jealousy

gwilym's p.o.v:

"just come with us, it'll be fun!"
rami's voice came through the phone against my protests, and i rolled my eyes. "rami, listen, you know i like him, ok? i don't want to sit there and watch you guys set him up with someone else. plus there's nothing in this that will work out well for me." i got up off my bed and walked to the window. i looked out over the city, wishing that this phone call would've never happened. rami's voice broke my thoughts, "gwil you know how he feels, ok? there's nothing we can do, and i think the two of them would get on really well. plus, you should be happy for him no matter what, because he's your friend. plus, you need to get out of the house more. being cooped up and bumming yourself out like this isn't good for you. you're never going to get anywhere or find out how this would work out unless you go out and find the answer." i stood there, wondering how i should do this. i turned away from the window and sighed in defeat. "ok, fine. i'll go." i heard rami holler in excitement and i laughed to myself. this couldn't be that bad, right?

oh if only i had known. rami came to my place with lucy and we all walked down to the coffee shop together, catching up on everything and telling jokes to pass the time. we walked in and i headed straight to the counter, ordering a black coffee. the waiter poured me a cup and i carried it to our table, setting it down as i pulled out my chair. i sat down with a sigh, and i could see rami looking at me weirdly as i did so. i gave him a strange look, asking, "what? is there something on my face?" he blinked quickly and said, "no, no, there's nothing on your face. i'm just thinking is all." "by staring into my soul?" "yes. what other way would i do that?" there was a slight moment of silence, then we broke out into laughter, lucy included. for that moment, i was distracted from what i had been feeling earlier. it was all going wonderfully until i saw ben walk in. his eyes scanned the crowd, and he spotted us. as he headed our way, i shot a look at rami, telling him through my expression that i wasn't looming forward to this. he gave me a little shrug, and we put our normal faces back on as ben sat down. i proceeded to fall silent, staring into my coffee cup majority of the time. when joe went up to perform, all my attention was there. i watched as his fingers danced intricately up and down the fretboard, the way his mouth moved as he sang all the songs he usually performed. there was something about this performance though that seemed so much more intimate. there was more emotion, more connection with the crowd, and i knew the reason. i knew he was only like this because he knew ben would be here. it killed me admitting to myself that he would never feel the same, but oh, how i wished i were the reason.
joe finished his set, and like usual, gained a massive round of applause from the audience. i let a small smile work its way to my face, but it disappeared as i turned back to the table, waiting for joe to come over after packing his things up. i started staring into my cup again, getting lost in my thoughts, when i felt a kick to my shin. i knew it was rami, but i didn't react. joe finally showed up, and he and ben were so awkward it was almost kind of sickening. not in a bad way though. they didn't talk much, but lucy got a conversation going, and it all took off from there. no one noticed the feelings i thought wet radiating off of me, and i realized that things had just gotten a lot more difficult than they were before. "oh boy. here we go."