(F/N) sat in the left wing stadium of the Harusame Headquarters. Kamui stood bound to a metal rod in the center. No matter how many times she assured herself that he would be fine, she couldn't stop shaking. Admiral Abo spoke through a microphone, addressing the waiting audience.
"Men," he said, "take a long, hard look! This is what happens to those who defy my authority! When you cross me, you cross the elders! When you cross the elders, you cross the Harusame! When there is no order, a battle-hardened army will be reduced to a headless mob!"
(F/N) clenched her fists. She was no longer shaking from fear, but from anger.
"Kamui," the Admiral said, "do you have any last words?"
"Can I say something real quick?" Kamui asked. His voice hadn't lost an ounce of its cheer.
The Admiral nodded.
Kamui took a deep breath. "Admiral Asshole!"
(F/N) burst out laughing.
"Kill him!" the Admiral screamed. "Kill him now!"
Just as the Admiral spoke, a familiar purple-clad figure stepped onto the stage.
"Hold on Admiral Assho—Admiral Abo," Takasugi said. "Will you allow me to kill him? Unfortunately, I never had the chance to fight him one-on-one, but I can at least serve as the executioner."
(F/N) noticed Captain Koro whispering to his men in the background. Why was he there? What was Takasugi trying to do? She put a hand on the gun at her waist. Whatever was about to happen, it wasn't going to be good.
"Our luck ran out when I got on this leaky boat," Takasugi mused, a lackluster smile on his face.
Kamui grinned. "You're saying you and I share the same fight, Earth Fighter?"
Takasugi shrugged. "Who knows? All I know is that neither of us are going to be doing any sightseeing."
(F/N) braced to pull her gun out.
"Sure we will," Kamui replied. "Down in hell."
Takasugi chuckled. "You bet."
He drew his sword, and slashed across Kamui's chest. The shackles crumbled, and the yato man collapsed on the floor.
Did Takasugi do it? No, that makes no sense. I hate it, but I'm going to have to trust him.
She checked to make sure no one was looking, and drew her gun.
As she predicted, Captain Koro's men swarmed the stage. Takasugi only grinned.
"Have a nice nap down in hell, leaky boat crew!"
Blood flew from the path of Takasugi's sword. (F/N) sensed a threatening aura behind her, and shot the person behind her right in the head. It was one of Captain Koro's men.
"Figures."
(F/N) leapt from her seat, unloading several shots and landing perfectly on the stage.
Takasugi smirked. "How nice of you to join us, Crazy Girl."
Kamui leapt to his feet, and wrapped her in a hug. "(F/N)-chan!"
She growled, and elbowed him in the face. "Get off, you moron! I'm just here because that asshole of an Admiral annoys me."
Takasugi snorted. "Well, whatever the reason..."
The three pressed their backs together. (F/N) drew her sword, and they surged forward all at once. Despite having never fought together before, (F/N) found that they fell into step with one another perfectly. (F/N) shot a man sneaking up on Takasugi just as Kamui drop kicked a man about to shoot her. Fighting alongside people, instead of alone gave (F/N) a sudden feeling of belonging. It warmed her like nothing else.
Still, she couldn't forget the fact that she was meant to be alone.
The Kiheitai flooded in, and (F/N) slipped into the crowd, doing the bare minimum to defend herself as she tried to find a means to escape. There was no doubt in her mind that the Harusame would be ruined after this incident. She had nothing to fear.
"Look out!"
A bullet flew past her face, hitting a pirate about to cut her down from behind. She looked over, and saw Abuto standing there with his 'I don't get paid enough for this shit' face.
"Hey, Dad," she greeted him, reloading her pistol.
"I don't remember adopting you, or that blockhead of a captain," Abuto grumbled.
(F/N) rolled her eyes. "Accept it already, you're everybody's dad."
An explosion shook the ship, and, noting the number of enemies nearby, she went back-to back with him.
"Kamui's over there, if you're looking for him," (F/N) pointed out, gutting a shark amanto she noted seemed very tasty.
"I thought I was finally rid of that brat..." Abuto groaned.
(F/N) rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on...you know you love him..."
"I could say the same of you."
She smacked him with the butt of her revolver. "Hey! I didn't come here to be criticized!"
Abuto smirked, rubbing the back of his head. That blow would have killed a human.
"No," he replied, "you came here to save your boyfriend."
"I-idiot!" She took a deep breath. "By the way, are there any escape pods left?"
"Yeah, I saw some over there when I came in—"
She took off towards the exit. "Great! See ya."
"Where are you going? And I'm not your dad!"
(F/N) slipped out the back door, heading straight for the emergency exit. There, as Abuto had said, were several escape pods all ready to go.
"Perfect," (F/N) said, sheathing her sword. "Now I can finally be rid of Harusame for good."
However, as she reached out to open the door, she hesitated. All she could think about was that night on the deserted planet, listening to Kamui talk about his mother.
She shook her head. "No. I can't think about that now."
Just as she grasped the handle, someone put their pale hand over hers.
"Where are you going, (F/N)-chan?"
She froze at the sound of Kamui's voice.
"You're coming with me!" the Yato decided. "We're going to fight samurai together! Doesn't that sound fun? The Earth Fighter wants you to come, too!"
(F/N) hesitated only a moment before shaking her head.
"No! Kamui-san, I can't go with you!" It broke her heart to say, but she couldn't give in.
Kamui's face fell.
"Are you sure?"
He hung his head, still gripping (F/N)-s hand, and she hesitated. Was this really the right thing to do? Could she really leave this sad, stupid, hopeless man alone?
"O...okay..." she sighed. "I'll go with you."
"Really?"
He immediately perked up, and threw his arms around her neck. With his face inches from hers, she could see clearly that there wasn't an ounce of worry in his expression.
"You...you were tricking me, weren't you?" she snapped.
He chuckled. "Maybe. Who knows?"
"Dammit, Kamui!"
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The Idiot Captain--Kamui x Reader (Gintama)
Fanfiction(L/N) (F/N) is an assassin working for the Harusame, and she has an enormous problem-Kamui, the Captain of the Seventh Division, insists on annoying her every day with his presence. This should be an easy problem to deal with-shoot him in the head a...