Carter stares at me with lost, sunken eyes. He's alive, but looks dead.
He isn't blinking.
Barely moving. Each breath looking like it drains energy from his broken spirit. He's tired.
So tired of living in this bubble of insecurity.
I know in my heart he's given me everything he has. It's reflected in his eyes. Eyes that humble and warm, like the sun against my nudity as I sunbathe. Eyes I fell in love with as a child so long ago. Back when my world was black and white, before his mind gave it color. Color that is still drying into my life canvas.
Rihanna is pale, cold, shivering. She's staring too. At her best friend. Right through her best friend, shaking me to the bone. Her hazel eyes are as defiant as she is.
Beautiful.
Intimidating.
Filled with tears that are waiting for the right moment to fall. Her eyes take me to her soul. The hidden crevice deep inside that holds her hopes, dreams, desires, and fears. Where we share our secrets and our love making is poetry off the page.
As safe as home, where our friendship and love is the only key to get inside. It's not my first time going there. We've grown as friends, lovers, soulmates in that place. It's a place I refuse to ever leave.
I turn away from both of them. I can't face their eyes anymore. Everything we've been through stares at me, taunting me.
I always knew I'd have to make a choice. I just never imagined the fork in the road would make me feel so powerless.
So stripped of my dignity. So naked, wearing my wedding dress. So haunted by the inevitability of losing someone I love.
Lost in reality that feels like a dream. Wondering if I'll wake up in bed with a friend or a lover or alone. I realize the choice has already been made.The journey to this nightmare was everything I needed. Everything.
