Insecurity ✅

Saviors

I’m sorry. We're sorry. We hope it’s not too late. We have always been loving you the way you are. Cliche? It is. Embarrassed? Too ourselves? Yes. We always thought that your smile are the most beautiful one we've ever seen. Not once to cross our mind that it will be… almost the last.

********************************************

I can heard it. The tossing. The small muttering. He thought we never know he had sleeping problem again. Why again? Because the last time he in his sleep deprived, we all come in to help him. Never once we complained because we love him so damn much.

‘Please leave him alone, insomnia. He need to sleep, my dear poor beloved hyung.’ thought him. Without realizing myself, I let out a groan. Stupid me! Now he’s stop moving. 

No hyung. It’s not you. It’s for the damn insomnia who disturbing you. I know you will think negatively now. 

Few minutes after he went silent, I heard the small step, too careful to my liking. Why you care so much if you disturbing us? We didn’t mind the small step because it’s bring us a hope that you willing to step in this life for us. The door. Just shut it like you always did in the daytime.

After 15 minutes outside which I assume he went to get his last hope like usual, he come back. For girrafesake please don’t mind us and walk with your feet not with your heart.

I peeking through my blanket to see you, clenching your eyes so hard, I’m afraid it will torn up. An hour later I heard it, thank Giraffe. A snore. That soft snore, people doesn’t know it has become a music in my ears because the lacking of it’s existent.

The morning come too soon. Damn you sun, back off for a while can you? He's awake. Oh his puffy eyes. No. Please let him sleep more. My poor poor hyung.

After he sit straight up, rubbing his tired eyes, I try to make him at least talk to me.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” why no he's not. Look at the swollen eyes and tell me that he’s okay, I dare you.

“i’m okay, why you ask, Wookie? Did you sleep well last night?” why he has to be nice and care for me instead of taking his time to look into the mirror to realize his own condition. I know this not gonna be the talk for now.

“I’m never been fresher, hyung! I’ll go make breakfast first, once I’m done I’ll call you. Sleep a little more. It’s still early!” I said and make my way into the kitchen, can’t bare my tears that threaten to fall out. But it did and gladly in the kitchen. 

“Wookie-ah…” I know that voice. “Leeteuk-hyung… he… poor him.” I said, Leeteuk-hyung pulled me into his comfort and let me cried my heart out, thinking for my poor hyung. 

Yes, we all know his struggle. But we've been waiting. Waiting till the day he will open up his heart to us. And till that day come, we will do anything to make him smile again.

***************************************************

I hate this. Why this become tradition? Can’t you see my fragile hyung are broken even more? What favoritism when people are blinded by the outside and left the inside to die? I tried my best to say my honest thought. His smile was indeed the most beautiful one today. But only idiots can’t see how his tiny heart shattered more as the comments come.

He smile at my compliment. I was  saddened by that. Why? Because it’s fake. He hates this meeting so much. I can read him like a book. We tormenting him too much that it’s easy to see the hurt in his eyes. 

Why won’t you cheers on him just now! He needs it. without him, I won’t even be the Siwon I am today. Without him you won’t even become the E.L.F you are now. Sorry to be rude it’s my fragile looking hyung that you hurt.