A Will To Live

1

The room was dark and the only source of light was coming from the dimly lit hallway. I layed on my back staring up at the celling quietly talking and laughing with my roommate until the room went terrifyingly quiet. My smile on my face vanished as I looked over to my thin roommate who appeared to be sleeping, Something is not right I thought to myself. I sat up supporting my weight on my hands and looked closer "Carmela "I called out but, there was no response. I looked closer at her face only to notice her eyes were rolling to the back of her head, I shot out of bed and ran to get the nurses help.  As soon as the nurses busted into the room Carmela's body began to convulse with seizers while I watched her suffer helplessly. 

I woke up in the middle of the night with sweat dripping down ever inch of my body as I breathed heavily.  Sitting up I ran my hands threw my extremely curly hair and pulled at it "it was just another dream Melody pull it together" I cursed at myself.  

One thing I hated about myself was that I couldn't seem to move on and get over anything that I experienced while I was in a mental hospital, it seemed to haunt me at the shittiest times. I quickly threw on a pair of my black sweats and a t shirt and headed out the door only to be faced with the cool Oregon air that nipped at my skin. It was pitch black outside with nothing but, the streetlights to light my way as I walked to my favorite spot in the entire world. In front of me was a row of tall Sugar pine trees just covering the clearing where a cliff out looked the water below. As I walked in deeper to the clearing the familiar smell of fresh water came to my nose and I smiled until my eyes drifted to a strange figure standing on the cliff.  My smile slowly faded as I curiously eyed the person and front of me. I took a few steps forward before stopping myself. 

"This is how people die in movies but, fuck it" I thought to myself.  

"Hey idiot, you might want to move away from the cliff before you fall and accidently kill yourself" 

The unknown figure slowly turned around to face me and smirked "who said it would be an accident?" 

A gut retching feeling tugged at my stomach as I took in his slender figure. The slight breeze blew his dark hair across his face as he stood there facing me with his hands shoved into his jeans. I stood there face to face with him almost unable to breath taken back by his response. 

"Jumping won't fix your problems it will only make things worse and if not for you then for the people that care about you, your acting as if they will ever get over you being gone." 

He stood there looking at me intently for a brief moment before he spoke "You know I really don't expect someone like you to understand,  you can't act like you know what it's like to wonder every morning why your awake." 

"You do not know-"

"No let me stop you right their I know everything I already need to know about you, your just like the rest of your spoiled rich friends at school who claim to be depressed after gaining five pouds, I wish thats all I was sad about so no you don't know what its like" 

"Oh fuck you !" I screamed

"Did you know that almost a year ago I tried to take my own life by swallowing thirty pills, I am lucky enough to even be alive today and your going to just stand up here and try and take your life like it's nothing?" 

He sighed staring at me realizing his mistake "look I'm really -" 

"Save it, if you really have a soul somewhere in that body of yours, don't jump especially not in front of me I don't think I could take it." 

"Okay, fine... ill see you around I guess" he whispered before he disappeared into the ddarkness.