When I say Captivating, I don't mean it in a self righteous way, but rather, I hope this blog might catch all the essences of me, Kira.
To write about my life, I might just refer you to Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events Books. Although apart from three children there was one, and I didn't have a creepy long lost relative hounding me.
Instead I was faced with death, heartache and guilt. You see, the key to Captivating someones personality is to understand their story and why they are who they are, how they work and what makes them keep on going.
I was unfortunate. I lost my sister Rachel, she was 14, I was 3 at the time. I didn't understand much but I was there when mum found her, her lifeless body is something I will never forget. They weren't so sure at the time why it happened, but eventually they put it down to her heart.
I was profoundly affected, I can't remember much about her but I remember the Anxiety that followed.
Yet, I grew up. It wasn't a bad childhood, I was surrounded by good people and I was happy, and I wanted everyone else to be happy too. But here's where the second, most unfortunate event began.
11th March 2009, 1am, Wednesday. There's alot about this night I could talk about but I will just mention two happenings.
My mum ran into my room panicked, hugged me, and repetitively said: "Not Again." My parents returning from the hospital, saying: "He's gone to sleep."
On that night, we lost Jason, my 17 year old brother. It was his heart, I was 10 at the time. I'd say his death was something that changed my life. I suppose most deaths do.
Life... carried on. It's now been 10 and 18 years since their deaths. The pain never quite leaves, I've struggled with Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Phobias... you name it, I've probably gone through it. But what it's taught me is Empathy.
You could go through life and be fortunate, you may not have lost someone or you may have a happy life, and there's no wrong in that.. however you might not gain full understanding of true empathy. Going through this and constantly warring against my mind has made me a better person, maybe a slightly broken one but a good one.
I did tell myself I shouldn't be so depressing for my first post, so I apologize, hopefully it will brighten up over the next blog posts.
But...
Hopefully, this beginning has helped you Captivate Kira, even just a little bit.
